These Entangled Mappings final

#[''These Entangled Mappings''] [[Begin|a cityscape emerges]] {(set: $adrenaline to 0)\ <script>const queryString = window.location.search; const urlParams = new URLSearchParams(queryString); const a = urlParams.get('a'); $adrenaline = a; </script>\ (set: $dopamine to 0)\ <script>const queryString = window.location.search; const urlParams = new URLSearchParams(queryString); const b = urlParams.get('b'); $dopamine = b; </script>\ (set: $cortisol to 0)\ <script>const queryString = window.location.search; const urlParams = new URLSearchParams(queryString); const c = urlParams.get('c'); $cortisol = c; </script>\ (set: $inventoryofthinkers to (a:), $inventory to (a:)) <script> let queryString = window.location.search; let urlParams = new URLSearchParams(queryString); let i = urlParams.get('i'); if (i) { $inventory = i.split(","); } </script> (set: $journey to (a:)) <script> let queryString = window.location.search; let urlParams = new URLSearchParams(queryString); let t = urlParams.get('t'); if (t) { $journey = t.split(","); } </script> (if: $inventory contains "rb2")[(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Barthes, Roland, 1977. ‘Death of the Author’. Image-Music-Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Hill and Wang."))] (if: $inventory contains "jr") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Carpenter, J. R., 2019. The Pleasure of the Coast. Online. Available at: <http://luckysoap.com/pleasurecoast/en/index.html>"))] (if: $inventory contains "ac1") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Carson, Anne, 2000. Plainwater. New York: Vintage Books."))] (if: $inventory contains "ac2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Carson, Anne, 2014. Eros: The Bittersweet: An Essay. Princeton: Princeton University Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "mc") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Consalvo, Mia, 2009. Cheating: Gaining Advantage in Video Games. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "rc") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Coover, Robert, 1992. ‘The End of Books’, The New York Times. Available at: <https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/98/09/27/specials/coover-end.html?pagewanted=all>"))] (if: $inventory contains "rc2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Robert, Coover, 1995. ‘Praise for Patchwork Girl by Shelley Jackson (Eastgate)’. Available at: <https://www.eastgate.com/catalog/PatchworkGirl.html>"))] (if: $inventory contains "ld") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Davis, Lydia, 2019. Essays. Hamish Hamilton. e-book."))] (if: $inventory contains "jd") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Derrida, Jacques, 1994. Specters of Marx: the State of the Debt, the Work of Mourning and the New International.trans. Peggy Kamuf. London: Routledge."))] (if: $inventory contains "rbd") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "DuPlessis, Rachel Blau, 2006. Blue Studios. The University of Alabama Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "eg") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "'Emergent Gameplay', 2017. Technopedia. by Margaret Rouse. Available at: <https://www.techopedia.com/definition/27043/emergent-gameplay/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "jh") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Halberstam, Jack, 2011. The Queer Art of Failure. Durham, US: Duke University Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "jh2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Hay, Jonathan, 2020. 'Fully Optimized: The (Post)human Art of Speedrunning'. Journal of Posthuman Studies, Vol. 4, No.1. The Pennsylvania State University. pp. 5-24. <https://doi.org/10.5325/jpoststud 4.10005.>"))] (if: $inventory contains "shsl") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Horowitz, Steve, Looney, Scott, 2014. The Essential Guide to Game Audio: The Theory and Practice of Sound for Games. Routledge."))] (if: $inventory contains "jh3") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Huizinga, Johan, 2016, 1938. Homo Ludens: A Study of the Play-Element in Culture. Trans. R.F.C. New York: Angelico Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "sj") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it +(a: "Jackson, Shelley, 1997. 'my body - a Wunderkammer'. Electronic Literature Collection, Volume One, October 2006. Online. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/1/works/jackson__my_body_a_wunderkammer.html>"))] (if: $inventory contains "dj") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Jayemanne, Darshana, 2019. 'Chronotypology: A Comparative Method for Analyzing Game Time.' Games and Culture, 15(7). pp. 809-824. <https://doi.org/10.1177/1555412019845593>"))] (if: $inventory contains "am") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Meades, Alan, 2013. 'Why We Glitch: Process, Meaning and Pleasure in the discovery and documentation, sharing and use of videogame exploits.' Well Played: a journal on video games, value and meaning. pp. 79-98. ETC Press. <https://doi.org/10.1184/R1/6687068.v1>"))] (if: $inventory contains "rm") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Menkman, Rosa, 2011. 'The Glitch Moment(um)'. Institute of Network Cultures. Available at: <https://networkcultures.org/_uploadsNN%234_RosaMenkman.pdf>"))] (if: $inventory contains "nm") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Montfort, Nick, 2005. Twisty Little Passages: An Approach to Interactive Fiction. Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "rm2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Myers, Rhea, 2014. glitcherature. Online. Available at: <https://rhea.art/glitcherature/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "em") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Myles, Eileen, 2017. 'Eileen Myles Interview:A Poem Says 'I Want''. Louisiana Channel. Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCnKGl2YDto>"))] (if: $inventory contains "dp") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Parker, Dorothy. I hate writing. I love having written', is now such a common quotation that the origin of when she said it is unclear, a quotation that has been passed around so easily, whether it was actually written like that by her is uncertain."))] (if: $inventory contains "zq") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Quinn, Zoe, Patrick Lindsey, Isaac Schankler, 2013. Depression Quest. Online. Available at: <http://www.depressionquest.com/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "lr") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Robertson, Lisa, 2012. 'Time in the Codex'. Nilling: Prose Essays on Noise, Pornography, The Codex, Melancholy, Lucretius, Folds, Cities and Related Aporias. 2nd edition. Toronto: Book*hug Press. pp. 9-18."))] (if: $inventory contains "lr2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Russell, Legacy, 2020. Glitch Feminism: A Manifesto. Verso Books."))] (if: $inventory contains "es") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Sampat, Elizabeth, 2017. Am I Part of The Problem</em. Online. Available at: <https://elizabethsampat.itch.io/am-i-part-of-the-problem/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "es2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Sampat, Elizabeth, 2017. Empathy Engines: Design Games that are Personal, Political and Profound. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform."))] (if: $inventory contains "rsb") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Scully-Blaker, Rainforest, 2014. 'A Practiced Practice: Speedrunning Through Space with de Certeau and Virilio'. Game Studies: the international journal of computer game research, volume 14 issue 1, August 2014. Available at: <https://gamestudies.org/1401/articles/scullyblaker/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "ws") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Self, Will, interviewed by Alan Clark, 2018. 'Will Self: ‘The novel is absolutely doomed’. The Guardian. Available at: <https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/mar/17/will-self-the-books-interview-alex-clark-phone-memoir/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "as") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Smith, Ail, 2012. Artful. London: Penguin."))] (if: $inventory contains "as2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Smith, Ali, interviewed by Sarah Lyall, 2014. 'An Onion of a Novel: Demanding to be Peeled'. The New York Times. Available at: <https://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/26/books/ali-smith-on-her-new-book-how-to-be-both.html/>."))] (if: $inventory contains "rs") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Solnit, Rebecca, 2006. A Field Guide to Getting Lost. London: Penguin."))] (if: $inventory contains "sz") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "SPAM zine and Press, n.d. '>What is post internet?'. Available at: <https://www.spamzine.co.uk/what-is-post-internet/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "gs") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Stein, Gertrude, 1971, 1931. How to Write. New York: Dover Pubications."))] (if: $inventory contains "ks") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Stewart, Kathleen, 2007. Ordinary Affects. Durham, US: Duke University Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "lh")[(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Hejinian, Lyn, and Leslie Scalapino, 2021. Hearing. Litmus Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "km") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Mansfield, Katherine, 1920:1988. Bliss. Auckland, New Zealand: Vintage."))] (if: $inventory contains "ps") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy. University of Chicago Press, pp. 27–54."))] (if: $inventory contains "az") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Zambra, Alejandro, 2015. My Documents. trans. Megan McDowell. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions."))] (if: $inventory contains "mm") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "de Montaigne, Michel. 1572: 1993. Montaigne: The Essays. Trans. M.A. Screech. London: Penguin Classics."))] (if: $inventory contains "rb") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + ((a: "Barthes, Roland, 1975. The Pleasure of the Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux."))] (if: $inventory contains "mw") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Wark, Mckenzie, 2007. Gamer Theory. London: Harvard University Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "jw") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Wang, Jackie and Christopher Soto, 2023. 'Will AI replace writers — and the rest of us? An L.A. scholar-poet games out the future'. Los Angeles Times. Online. Available at: <https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/books/story/2023-08-23/will-ai-replace-writers-christopher-soto-jackie-wang-game-out-the-future/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "sa") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Al Maria, Sophia, 2019. Sad Sack. London: Bookworks."))] (if: $inventory contains "zd") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Dinnen, Zara, 2021. The Digital Banal: New Media and American Literature and Culture (Literature Now). Columbia University Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "lb") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Berlant, Lauren, 2016. 'The commons: Infrastructures for troubling times*'. Environment and Planning D: Society and Space, Vol. 34, No. 3, pp. 393-419. <https://doi.org/10.1177/0263775816645989/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "aa") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Artist, American, 2018. ‘Black Gooey Universe’, Unbag. Available at: <https://unbag.net/end/black-gooey-universe>"))] (if: $inventory contains "gs2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Stein, Gertrude, 2012, 1914. Tender Buttons. New York: Dover Publications."))] (if: $inventory contains "mk") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Kaku, Michio, 2014. 'I am Dr. Michio Kaku, co-founder of string field theory and bestselling author of The Future of the Mind.' Reddit. Available at: <https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1ztgy9/im_dr_michio_kaku_a_physicist_co_founder_of/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "p") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Pythagorus (attrib.) Louise B. Young (ed.), 1965. The Mystery of Matter. Oxford: Oxford University Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "an") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Notley, Alice, 2005. 'The Main Offense'. Jacket Magazine. Available at: <http://jacketmagazine.com/27/notl.html>"))] (if: $inventory contains "rwe") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 1833.. 'Montaigne; or, the Skeptic'. Available at: <https://emersoncentral.com/texts/representative-men/montaigne-the-skeptic/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "pv") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Virilio, Paul, 1997. Open Sky. trans. by Julie Rose. London: Verso Book."))] (if: $inventory contains "sw") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Weil, Simone, 2004, 1955. Oppression and Liberty. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. London: Routledge."))] (if: $inventory contains "md") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "De Landa, Manuel, 1992. War in the Age of Intelligent Machines. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Zone Books."))] (if: $inventory contains "m") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "'Moths'. Butterfly Conservation. Available at: <https://butterfly-conservation.org/moths>"))] (if: $inventory contains "mf") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Fisher, Mark, 2017. The Weird and the Eerie. London: Repeater Books."))] (if: $inventory contains "m8") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "McKinnon, Logan, 2024. 'The Dividing Road: How the M8 Motorway Destroyed Glasgow’s Communities.' Retrospect Journal. Available at: <https://retrospectjournal.com/2024/11/17/the-dividing-road-how-the-m8-motorway-destroyed-glasgows-communities/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "vw") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Woolf, Virgina, 1942. The Death of the Moth and Other Essays. New York: Harcourt."))] (if: $inventory contains "mo2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Oliver, Mary, 1984. 'The Moths'.Poetry Foundation. Available at: <https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?volume=143&issue=4&page=31>"))] (if: $inventory contains "sh") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Heti, Sheila, 2024. Alphabetical Diaries. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions."))] (if: $inventory contains "aq") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Quin, Ann, 1964: 2019. Berg. Sheffield: And Other Stories."))] (if: $inventory contains "cl") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Lispector, Clarice, 1964: 2012. The Passion According to G.H. . trans. by Idra Novey. New York: New Directions."))] (if: $inventory contains "gs") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Hopper, Grace, 1949: 2018. 'Grace under pressure.' National Museum of American History. by. Peggy A. Kidwell, Amelia Grabowski. Available at: <https://americanhistory.si.edu/explore/stories/grace-under-pressure>"))] (if: $inventory contains "dl") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Lafarge, Daisy, 2023. Lovebug. London: Peninsula Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "b") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "'bliss', noun., 2023.'OED Online. Available at: <https://www.oed.com/dictionary/bliss_n?tab=factsheet>"))] (if: $inventory contains "fa") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Soerzputowski, Kate, 2015. 'Faig Ahmed Creates Glitched-Out Contemporary Rugs from Traditional Azerbaijani Textiles. Colossal. <https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2015/11/faig-ahmed-glitched-rugs/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "bd") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Dillon, Brian, 2023. 'On opening yourself to distraction: From a conversation with Maddie Crum.' The Creative Independent. Online. <https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/writer-brian-dillon-on-opening-yourself-to-distraction/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "bd2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Dillon, Brian, 2023. Affinities. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions."))] (if: $inventory contains "al") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Lovelace, Ada, 1843: 2017. 'Ada Lovelace: Weaving Algebraic Patterns Like Looms Weave Flowers and Leaves'. The Good Times . Available at: <https://www.the-good-times.org/people-2/ada-lovelace-weaving-algebraic-patterns-like-looms-weave-flowers-and-leaves/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "na") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. 'Corpsing: On Sex, Death, and Inappropriate Laughter'. The Paris Review. Available at: <https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2022/06/16/corpsing-on-sex-death-and-spontaneous-laughter/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "ps") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy Chicago: University of Chicago Press. pp. 27–54."))] (if: $inventory contains "wc") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Chun, Wendy Hui Kyong, 2017. Updating to Remain the Same: Habitual New Media Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "gc") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Tanner, Grafton, 2020. The Cirlcle of the Snake: Nostalgia and Utopia in the Age of Big Tech. London: Zero Books."))] (if: $inventory contains "mo") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Olson, Marisa 2008. ‘Postinternet: Art After the Internet’. Foam Magazine, Vol. 29. pp. 59-63."))] (if: $inventory contains "gs3") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Stein, Gertrude, 1925: 1995. The Making of Americans: Being a History of a Family’s Progress. London: Dalkey Archive Press."))] (if: $inventory contains "sr") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Robinson, Sophie, 2018. 'art in america'. BOMB Magazine. Available at: <https://bombmagazine.org/articles/2018/03/06/sophie-robinson-poem/>"))] (if: $inventory contains "dw") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Waber, Dan, 2010. 'a kiss (for Jennifer)''. Electronic Literature Organisation. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/4/works/a-kiss/a-kiss.html>"))] (if: $inventory contains "na1") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. Animal Joy. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions."))] (if: $inventory contains "na2") [(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Alsadir, Nuar, 2017. Fourth Person Singular. Liverpool: Pavilion Poetry."))] (if: $journey contains "a") [(set: $charactera to true)] (if: $journey contains "b") [(set: $characterb to true)] (if: $journey contains "c") [(set: $characterc to true)] (if: $journey contains "d") [(set: $egameplay to true)] (if: $journey contains "e") [(set: $threestrings to true)] (if: $journey contains "f") [(set: $blissglitch to true)] (if: $journey contains "g") [(set: $glitchful to true)] (if: $journey contains "h") [(set: $entangled to true)] (if: $journey contains "i") [(set: $beginning to true)] (if: $journey contains "i") [(set: $speculative to true)] (if: $journey contains "j") [(set: $unthought to true)] (if: $journey contains "j") [(set: $realism to true)] (if: $journey contains "k") [(set: $noise to true)] (if: $journey contains "k") [(set: $surreal to true)] (if: $journey contains "l") [(set: $memory to true)] (if: $journey contains "l") [(set: $realism to true)] (if: $journey contains "m") [(set: $rupture to true)] (if: $journey contains "m") [(set: $surreal to true)] (if: $journey contains "n") [(set: $glitch to true)] (if: $journey contains "n") [(set: $surreal to true)] (if: $journey contains "o") [(set: $centre to true)] (if: $journey contains "o") [(set: $realism to true)] (if: $journey contains "p") [(set: $ongoingness to true)] (if: $journey contains "p") [(set $speculative to true)] (if: $journey contains "q") [(set: $saturation to true)] (if: $journey contains "q") [(set: $surreal to true)] (if: $journey contains "r") [(set: $riddle to true)] (if: $journey contains "r") [(set: $speculative to true)] (set: $mapofthrumming to (a:)) (set: $inventoryofobjects to (a:)) (set: $entangled to true) (set: $adrenaline to (num: $adrenaline)) (set: $dopamine to (num: $dopamine)) (set: $cortisol to (num: $cortisol)) }

The city aches in us and it also dances in us and turns circles in us and feels itself moving through a series of figures across space and time, memory not yet fully realised. Glasgow, Scotland, a small and yet sprawling city, overlapping nerves emerging at tightened and sharpening stressings. We catch it from an open and distanced view, the river not so much dividing as skirting and dancing through the assortment of tenements, high rises, collected holdings almost divided yet also overlapping. The river holds a determination even as it turns corners and sways. It sways inside us. If on a train, arriving in the city, say from the south, you will be passing fields, many of them, with blurring fences, emerging weathers, unbothered sheep held in the green, waiting for something it seems but nobody knows what. A crossing over. You will know you will be arriving in Glasgow and this will cause the senses to stutter, like the stutter of water in the river, like the stutter of text, like the stutter of time trying to hold itself together behind glass. Seemingly framed, yet never quite held, this constant shifting. So, entering (and perhaps with some trepidation) inside the mess and wait and melt of the city, we [[catch| Figure C]] [[a| Figure A]] [[figure.| Figure B]] (live: 9s)[//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//] (live: 12s)+ (text-style:"subscript","smear")[[[Inventory of Thinkers|Inventory of Thinkers]]]

Figure C is a figure of wings. Here, we see a light, grasping the figure who wonders at, an encompassing, beaming and bewildering centre, and it [[beckons.|moth opening]]

//A figure walking along a busy entanglement of roads// [[Location: Glasgow's Royal Infirmary]] {<div id="weather"></div> <script> $(document).ready(function(){ $("#weather").load("http://kirstydunlop.com/dfa/weather-opening.php"); }); </script>}

{(if: visits is 1) [//[[A zooming into the bedroom of Figure B]]// (set: $inventoryofobjects to (a:)) (set: $playertime to (current-time:)) (set: $playerdate to (current-date:)) Time: (print: $playertime) Date: (print: $playerdate) Location: Glasgow's East End]} (else:) [[[Another portal beckons.|Connections from Figure A]]]

(live: 3s) [& of course she is not in a church or silent place or a space that anyone would want to stick around in for any kind of workship; she is on a busy road, (click-replace: "road,") [roundabout,] (click-replace:"roundabout,") [headfuck,] wearing a strange assortment of items of clothing, some pyjama trousers, an old hoodie, a backpack much too heavy with items that are not useful but seemed that way when she hurridly packed about, what, eight hours previously?] (live: 9s) [& these are items that are superfluous but felt right for an emergency] (live: 12s) [& here she is thinking about how //ridiculous// it is that right outside a hospital there is a series of crossings with broken lights or no lights at all and that [[pressing]] the light has made no difference, as it hasn't moved any [[action]] forward yet]

//hmmm// (live: 3s) [...action, re-action, the reaction of those two women on the bus she took the last time she was here, was that a few months ago?] (live: 6s) [& the buses never arrive on time in this [[city]] and often the bus drivers don't know where they are going and you do get used to it, don't you? you try] (live: 10s) [& the bus driver began driving so fast straight into this busy [[motorway]] that the two women screamed 'awright, calm down, we're just out the hospital! are you trying to kill us?' and it was funny at the time and she couldn't stop grinning but there was also a grain of truth to it and that if you were to leave a hospital after miraculously surviving and then you had your end in this way, that would have a very specific strain of tragedy to it]

& pressing down on the body and how that feels depending on what is being pressed down on and who is doing the pressing and the context and that //really// context is always very important when you put a wide set of actions together (live: 5s) [& sometimes she wants that sensation, to know that //yes// she is there, and that there is something slightly //off// about wanting something like that, which could be seen as wanting pain or violence, but no that's not what she means] (live: 10s) [& she has been told time and time again that she herself has pressed too much, with this need to press down on the matter, but also a desire to press down on pain or the dizzy] (live: 15s) [& she supposes this anxiety is part of a wider series of other anxieties and that to draw a map out of her own trajectories, her own shaping, would be messy, like how she got her horoscope and signs drawn by that old friend of hers who had everyone's stored on the app so she could be reminded of all her friend's maps all the time, which seems both comforting and also strangely like an [[ownership]] of others but also it is, she supposes, no different than companies owning all the different parts of you, all your 'emotional data' as if emotions could ever really exist as numbers strung out on a line, waiting] (live: 22s) [& then suddenly it's as though she can see her emotional data flying, no sifting, swirling even, like dust, through the [[air]] above her, but of course if we could see all that above us, like confetti falling down on our head, like the inevitable Glasgow rain, we wouldn't be able to continue, would we?] (live: 30s) [would we?] (live: 32s) [because we just wouldn't, would we? if you actually think about information like that, any kind of movement or any kind of life doesn't seem very doable, or reliable] (live: 35s) [& still, too much stuttering, or questioning, can prevent any kind of movement] (live: 37s) [& here is the growing light, still growing] {(set: $adrenaline to it +1)} (live: 40s)+(text-size: 0.8) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//]

& the air in the past few years has felt different and she knows why and //you// don't need to explain it {(if: $characterb is true) [because after all, she does feel as though she is being controlled and yes, she has become the figure of your imagination, the figure in the game, a version of the original //her//, glitched from reality into fiction]} [& she is walking through a particularly vehicle laden area of the city and she is not even thinking about the smells, no //not really//,] (live: 8s) [of vehicle heat and compressed heat, of silly heat and oil, of mild heat and measured heat, of heat that wants to find you,] (live: 11s) [of general city air which each city somehow delivers into the lungs differently, as air can never be neutral, and yet here you could be mistaken for thinking you were in some kind of non-city too with the grass and even the frogs she noticed along this way once jumping in the puddles, against the corrugated iron] (live: 14s) [& she knows she has a tendency to cross when she shouldn't, like her body just can't wait any longer, and that each time she does she has the sense that she is watching from the afterlife the moment when she //almost// survived] (live: 17s) [& she has been trying to press, to jolt the body into action, to provide a sense of confirmed forward motion] (live: 20s)[[[cross the road|cross the road]]] (live: 22s) [[[stare despairingly at cars|stare dispairingly at cars]]] (live: 24s) [[[go somewhere else in her head|go somewhere else in her head]]]

and she doesn't feel like she has any ownership over anything at the moment, not even herself, picturing the figure of this //she// instead as a lens, through which something beyond her own conception might be understood and honesty, even the body, //that strange thing// can feel unowned, volatile, its own separate character and imagining a figuring of the body with her, stepping one foot out of it, looking back at it, the body as a threshold, a doorway and on the other side you could be someone else, //something else// and what would the body be thinking about all that, if you were to look at it, observe its pain and she concludes it would be annoyed precisely because it couldn't think and therefore //couldn't// be annoyed and to try and stop imagining //all the time// because that implies you are not part of a living material world or that you always have one foot out of it and so [[on-press the light return]]

{<div id="weatherlink2"></div> <script> $(document).ready(function(){ $("#weatherlink2").load("http://kirstydunlop.com/dfa/weather-2.php"); }); </script>} (live: 8s) [& it's just another (weekday:)] (live: 11s) [& she connects with herself as more weather than figure, than human, with no specific direction, constantly in an act of leaving and never quite arriving, still waiting at these [[crossroads]]]

& crossing quickly, a car is beeping and someone is swearing and does she give a flying fuck? //no//, she thinks, //let me walk here right now// (live: 5s)[& it is also true that sometimes she doesn't much see the outside world and that this can be a problem, that it is has been a particularly bad problem in the past because she has seen to be //[[ignoring]]// people she has met at various occasions] (live: 8s) [& this has led to some very awkward future interactions and if she even //allows// herself to think about such things she won't sleep tonight or maybe ever again] (live: 12s) [& that all of this can be viewed as a strand of selfish behaviour if seen in certain lights] {(set: $adrenaline to it +2) (set: $cortisol to it +1) (set: $dopamine to it -1)} (text-size: 0.8)+(live: 17s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//]

& usually she would be looking at her phone, she realises, or listening to something, but instead here in this moment she can only go somewhere else in her head which is really what she is doing most of the time anyway (live: 5s) [& it is also true that sometimes it is absolutely better to go somewhere else in your head rather than really take into account what is happening here, //now// although this is probably not the //experts// would give; instead it would be to acknowledge the thoughts and then bring them back to a different space, to be aware of your physical environment] (live: 10s) [& it's true that these are two different kind of mappings, the physical mapping of a place, or the mapping of sound or [[vision|ignoring]] or history and then the mapping of questioning which ends up connecting everything to everything or nothing to nothing] (live: 15s) [& she does not feel like //herself// at the moment and the city and the roads and the sky and the weather seem to know it]

She's been gone two months now? Oh wait, no, it's been three months. Yes, that's right. Is it? During the day, hours feel slow (slower when working, of course, stacks of task add up in an unnerving way) but then suddenly you're halfway through a week, a month, a year, getting ever closer to halfway through a life. //Although I suppose//, you think, //you never quite know at what point in a life you're at.// The dust twirls. [[What traces her body left]] [[What traces time has left]] [[What traces on the internet]] (set: $characterb to true)

Not the traces that first come to mind but the traces that don't ever arrive. The repetitions expected A felt presence while peeing in the bathroom, as though she's just outside or standing in the kitchen making pizza. The drip of a tap left on. The sound of someone else, something else, a stranger next door in another space which in another time could have been her. An imprint of the space before. A gap that looks empty. [[What is held outside]] [[What is held inside]] [[What is held now]]

Everything used to be fast and now it feels so slow. No, that's not quite correct. The days are long but the weeks are fast, months even faster. You check the time: (print: $playertime) You have things to do, time to keep. The morning sun drifts through the window making strange patterns against skin and wall. Dried flowers casting ghostly images. Eyes still adjusting slowly, thought springs forth in fragment melody. The air seems to cling to you. You have slept in yet again. You used to be so good in the morning. The day now marks itself more strangely. You forgot to turn a light off last night as well. You abruptly stand. [[You worry about something feeling off]] [[You worry about what she is doing]] [[You worry about the shadow]]

You try again. In moments like these, you found yourself buying things, almost as though the hand taking these actions, clicking on the mouse, is not your own. A series of books on Glasgow landscapes, just //because//. Many of them. A pair of second hand Doc Martins sent from a woman down south. Cream for cracked skin. Although not quite bought as the basket isn't functioning. It loads, slowly, shiftily. The items sit looking at you expectantly, and you wait and see how you feel and usually the feelings subside and then the items disappear just as easily, with only a click. [[What else disappears with only a click]] [[What else appears]] [[What else disappears with only a breath]]

Go and touch the grass! You want more than that. You want to touch dirt, stand in water against slippery rocks. You want to lay your body on a muddy embankment, even against a thorny bush. You want to go to that exact spot the two of you found last year; a hollowed forest clearing with half a trunk on the moss. Several sections where you can sit even with the bumps and edges digging into your sides. In Pollok Park. Imagining the breeze on their face. An easeful walk. [[Get ready to leave|centre 3]]

You don't really know what is held inside. The screen knows best; a mirror image stares back, a list of carefully mapped actions instantly revealed across the scattering. //It knows me better than I know myself//, you think Your name, unknown even to you, shimmers on its surface: [[You look back through old messages|What the messages said.]] [[You text her]] [[You want to text her]]

You are trying to be more aware. You are trying. Somehow your phone is back in your hand. [[You look back through old messages|What the messages said.]] [[You want to text her]] [[You text her]]

You had been chatting with someone else. Yes, this was true. Not that anyone was asking. Several of them. Easier to date than a few years ago after all and the anonymous app feels like the best one. Newspaper style adverts and anonymous names. You can almost be anyone, or so it feels. But an open space, yes, open. You could also just delete the conversations as though they never happened. You had foolishly decided to use this feature once before. Once you had discovered this was possible, it was almost as if you could re-trace time, glitch the rules of this reality. Somewhat inevitably, you had realised what you had done almost straight away. The humiliation. //Wait, did you just delete that message? What were you going to say?// Sometimes to disappear is only to draw more attention to a self. [[You look back through old messages]] [[You text her|You text her 3]] [[[[You want to text her|You want to text her 2]]

People can appear just as ideas can suddenly appear, pain can suddenly appear, unknowing can appear and yes, a bird's eye view of yourself can also suddenly appear but only briefly, only in small and alarming images that flash before the eye in a moment of forgetting. You can appear before yourself sometimes and this can be alarming. You can see your outline on the dark screen before you as you try to concentrate, as you try to finish working on the large, unimaginable project which you imagine will provide some kind of closure to these unfinished feelings. You imagine a world trailing out before you, beyond the confines of a room, beyond the confines of a self, beyond the confines of a limited perspective, just one way of seeing and just one place. The screen and its inners reverbarate beyond the street in the East end of Glasgow, beyond the tenement opposite with sharp sunlight trying to penetrate against the red stone, beyond the pipes in the walls that shudder and seem to hold a worrying agency of their own, beyond the certain feelings that can take over a place or the certain patterns you can find yourself trapped inside. [[What unfinished feelings?]] [[What does this have to do with maps?]] [[Where is she?]]

This is not an unusual activity. Nothing has really changed about the relationship you could say, if you weren't to distinguish between the virtual and the real.

In a matter of seconds, a message can simply arrive in your lap, faster even than thought, faster even than any of the thoughts that they might be thinking right //now//. After all, it is almost like an impulse, this wish to send a quick breath out across an ocean but this can also turn to a re-reading of other messages, a whole archive of them in fact! The largest reading project of an entire life, the length of multiple novels, infinite encyclopedias, a giant project, an unbearable project of revisiting every single moment in a relationship, in a life even. It was a great indulgence. They can track the first messages, the hesitant signals, the weird emoji use (far too literal, the inside jokes hadn't emerged yet). You can then trace the excitement, the photos now hidden in secret chats, the fantasies and recognition. They can notice how many times you texted first, the fact you can put an actual numerical value upon that and that in the midst of the doing, that fact can be so easily ignored. It is actually a huge embarassment to go back through all of these messages, it makes the brain feel like it is floating away and can't seem to be reassigned to the body. Going around and around and around. It's not produtive either, you think, //fuck this//. [[Get back to the day already|centre 1]] [[Let the self be fully imprinted]] [[You text her]]

There is a distinct strangeness to looking at messages sent from a past self, especially when this past self seems to bare little resemblance to who you are now. You look at themselves as though you are looking at the text in a book, an artefact of something you do not recognise, though it claims on the screen that the words do belong to you. [[What the messages said.]] [[What the messages wanted.]] [[What the messages missed.]]

look at this (live: 3s) [[[unfinished]]] (live: 5s) [nature of the road, built in Glasgow some time in the 1950s, with a plan for completion that never transpired, including that infamous 'ski jump', a patch of the tarmac where everything just stops, held high above the ground, the dead end and it is not clear what the use of that section was at all] (live: 9s) [& that several cars have gone off the edge of that section or have found themselves crashing suddenly into each other across these overlaps that cut through in an invasive vein] (live: 12s) [& the various neighbourhoods and points of entry across the city look like they have also been crashed into] (live: 16s) [& that here she [[finds]] herself] {<div id="weatherlink2"></div> <script> fetch("https://kirstydunlop.com/weather-two.php") .then(response => response.text()) .then(data => { document.getElementById("weatherlink2").innerHTML = data; }) .catch(error => { document.getElementById("weatherlink2").innerText = "Weather unavailable."; }); </script>}

the idea of an unfinished project (live: 4s) [an unstoppable project that directly intrudes on very real mateiral life, when the desire is to provide a frictionless surface, a surface on which many things can be more than one thing at once, a surface on which you can skim ideas and instantly get feedback, on which you can quickly drive your way around and through a city] (live: 9s) [what was the feeling of being in this space?] (live: 11s) [dropped suddenly onto a direction or a map not made for you] (live: 13s) [& that everyone at work had found it //hilarious// when she had asked with genuine fear whether //people could cycle on the motorway?// and they said no, but if you think about it, where does it begin and end? here, it moves in rapid circles and there has to be room for some confusion, surely] (live: 16s) [[[press the lights again|on-press the light return]]] (live: 19s) [[[grow impatient]]] (live: 22s) [[[dash across the road|cross the road]]]

to be found is to be recognised or assessed or located, to be given a name, a job, a searchable presence in a web of many other figures, to be found in an assemblage of a vast number of others, many of whom you will never meet or you may bypass them, the possibility of meeting or knowing being [[temporary|temporary 2]], fleeting (live: 8s) [& she thinks how strange it is that on various stretches of these entangled motorways, extending out in an empty stream of colours and noise, you encounter figures, often alone, though sometimes a group of teenagers, though they don't tend to travel far from the neighbourhoods which occasionally appear along the side of these fast moving stretches] (live: 13s) [& how strange it is to walk like a bending and unstoppable sentence against the fast moving blur of vehicle] (live: 16s) [[[address pain|address pain]]] (live: 19s) [[[press the lights|on-press the light return]]]

{<div id="weatherlink3"></div> <script> $(document).ready(function(){ $("#weatherlink3").load("http://kirstydunlop.com/dfa/weather-3.php"); }); </script>} (live: 2s) [& yes it sometimes is true that life doesn't move fast enough for her, sometimes this can be found in more obvious states like when out for a drink and she can feel herself talking faster and faster and it is as though she would like to press pause but no, instead fast forward continues, and she finds herself blurting out more and more, before an entire life stretched out against the string of the sentence is releasing and twisting and coiling in the air] (live: 8s) [& recently this has resulted in her trying to exit the scene, looking in the bathroom mirror, calming herself, then shutting the cubicle door and humming softly, praying no one will hear] (live: 11s) [[[hum|hum entry]]] (live: 13s) [[[hum|hum entry]]] (live: 15s) [[[hum|hum entry]]]

beginning not from anywhere concrete, then growing (live: 6s) [beginning not in any journey, a slow creeping] (live: 8s) [beginning in one body, and a feeling somehow that it could stretch between] (live: 10s) [what, two bodies?] (live: 12s) [like a stretched out thought, whispering, known yet unknown] (live: 15s) [marked yet unmarked] (live: 18s) [her voice often speaking, louder inside] (live: 19s) [the pain still there] (live: 21s) [[[press the lights|on-press the light return]]]

only last year she found out that she is extremely short sighted and she should have been wearing glasses for //god knows how long// and this seems to have greatly affected all aspects of her life, most of all seeing or recognising people, and she must have seemed glazed, entirely absent from the world around her (live: 8s) [how this also happens in pain, a strange stuttering effect of being in many places at once, the 'reality' of what everyone is experiencing in this //here and now// but also the non-space of avoidance or distraction and then the space of the pain itself whose reality can be the most all-encompassing and you never really want to speak to anyone in that state] (live: 12s) [& that being online can also feel like this, staring at the screen, a numbing and yet overloaded series of sensations, the scrolls to escape time] (live: 15s) [& that not recognising faces or viewing only a series of patterns or shifting text on a screen invariably leads to extreme anxiety, because if intention or meaning or uncertainty begins to take over, then all that can be perceived is danger] (live: 18s) [[[press the lights again|on-press the light return]]]

(text-style:"subscript","smear") + (text-size: 2)[Inventory of Thinkers] You are currently carrying: \ (if: $inventoryofthinkers's length is 0)[\ a shimmering knowledge that feels itself quicken. ](else:)[\ \ (for: each _item, ...$inventoryofthinkers)[\ _item (unless: $inventoryofthinkers's last is _item)[,]\ ] ] (link-goto: "Return", (history:)'s last)

Messages always want to be read, they burn off a screen waiting and watching the selves who glimmer towards a light, a beaming light. A message is a desire, imagining the long letters caressing through the air and the swift invisible wires like the wires of the body, layering, unlayering, waiting for something to happen. The beat, beat of waiting, doing, opening, consuming. You return to a kind of [[centre.->centre 1]]

There are some things that cannot be mentioned in writing, even if you had wanted to write them down and when you try writing about it, the entire moment loses itself before the sentence is even over. The two of you had gone away once, down to London. It had been a terrible mistake. You had a fight on the underground amidst a packed group of people, until really, it felt like a fight in London was more acceptable than a fight in Glasgow. Because no one you know can recognise you, but then again you're also aware of all the surveillance everywhere, all the moments that can be caught. This was partially because, you, a figure in a vast crowd, had not been able to deal with it. The underground, that was. It's not natural after all to be pelting at that speed through the bowels of a city, with everyone wearing such huge coats in the midst of summer, with no air, and no knowledge of when you would be arriving anywhere. And bodies. And bodies. And bodies. She had been kind at first and then had got frustrated. This had made you panic more which for them read retreat, retreat. You lose yourself inside the frame of what you appear to be. She'd been used to travelling in a way you never had. She could travel anywhere herself and also seemed to attract others around her which crafted a kind of protective shield. People seemed to flock to her. Some people seem to have this skill, a subtle and yet keen brightness that opens themselves up to everyone around them. You didn't seem to have access to a skill like this. [[Where is she?]]

If you can, imagine, a series of waves upon a screen. Imagine their overflow into each other. Imagine time processing them quickly, and without thought, onto each other, interlocking, forever dissapearing as they pass over, forgetting just before they can remember. If you can, imagine you, the figure, //a figure//, (a number or a face or a point of time, does it always matter?), sitting at the screen trying to process all that is held in that screen. You can get transported for hours into the code, its endlessly circular dynamic holding you inside a constant refrain, forgetting the hours of the day, forgetting your own presence as a body held in a space. Does this have anything to do with the [[memory motions? ->What traces you leave on the internet]] All of those internets, speaking over each other but refusing to collaborate.

& usually she would be looking at her phone, she realises, or listening to something, but instead here in this moment she can only go somewhere else in her head which is really what she is doing most of the time anyway (live: 8s)[& it is also true that sometimes it is absolutely better to go somewhere else in your head rather than really take into account what is happening here, //now// although this is probably not the advice anyone would give or indeed, take] (live: 13s) [& she can envision a voice saying slowly and with gentle clarity that you must turn away from the thoughts and into the physical world surrounding you and //hmmm//, this is is definitely a voice she knows but who is //really// speaking?] (live: 17s) [& isn't it true that these are two different kind of mappings, the physical mapping of a place, or the mapping of sound or [[vision|ignoring]] or history and then the mapping of questioning which ends up connecting everything to everything or nothing to nothing] (live: 20s) [& and she does //not// feel like herself at //all// at the moment and the city and the roads and the sky and the weather seem to know it] (live: 23s) [& //wait//, does she ever [[feel like herself?|ignoring]]]

Are any feelings fully finished? A map of feelings even in the space of one hour would likely extend forever, curling around, frightening itself, catching its routes, unravelling before it could see itself clearly. You know that it is not so much that you have the unfinished feelings that some people would call love. It's something else. It's the unfinished feelings of the in-between, this strange place you now find themself living through. After all, you had continued living together after the relationship had finished. It was the easiest way and you knew of many others who had done the same. You had also broken up numerous times; the worst time being when she had broken up with you while you were having the shower, and you supposed the worst time for her was when you had broken up in the middle of them cooking a meal together. Why always in the middle of things and why always when something needs to be finished, like washing your hair or making sure the kitchen doesn't burn down? No, these unfinished feelings were made up of other entanglements and they had trouble locating them. ~~Process~~ ~~Cry~~ [[Get busy->centre 1]]

You imagine a // palimpsest//. She told you about that word one day and you liked the way it sounded. An object changed and used for another purpose. An old manuscrupt. A face superimposed onto a map. A memory ghosted and held. What object could you put that on? [[You imagine.]] [[You move around the room|centre 1]]

You had met when they were young or younger, you were still young but the past few years had added some weight to any age it seemed. She had been visiting the city for a year seven years prior with no plans, //just passing through//, needing to escape a rigid and enclosed hometown on the other side of the world. You had also come from a //small// place, but any map of Scotland doesn't exactly make it seem as though you had come from far away if you weren't living in one of the three cities that made up the mini centres, here being the largest. It was even more of a joke to say you came from far away when you can literally jump on a train and in a mere few hours you can be at the tip of the land, looking out onto endless ocean. It was the mapping of the place in your mind that created the distance. Anyway, it was a passing through and the passing through would go onto emerge as a creating through, a creating of a joint identity that would subsume and take over various aspects of their life. In the first few months, for example, you would suddenly stop seeing everyone, not that you have a wide social circle (or it seems to detract and refract often) but all other areas of life would suddenly seem completely irrelevant. And then the lockdown would happen and you suddenly were not allowed to see anyone at all and so the map of your life would grow more and more intense. [[What is all this vague description about anyway?|centre 1]] [[Don't you have things to be doing?|centre 1]]

{(set: $inventoryofobjects to (a: "a self or selves?"))} What self? All of these different versions, both visible and indecipherable. The self that is a body with all its other selves, travelling around, disintegrating, entangling and refusing coherence which was good, which was right. Stranger still to have a self that changes over so many years alongside and in line with another person's self, so much so that you might even be sharing chemicals, your habits, your odours, becoming so inextricably bound up with theirs. Oh yes, because she used to have a certain smell and then you stopped being able to smell it, it was as though the two intermingling of bodies under covers, held in each other, sweating, kissing had crafted this third invisible body that hung between them. Perhaps only the two of them could see this body, perhaps nothing had changed in anyone else's eyes. You wished at a certain point each day (never at the exact same time, you note), that you could change your name. The one beauty of that moment, just after waking. A forgetting before the physical. Or that a simple lineage of self wasn't required either. How easily we can be mapped through our origins. [[Your origins ->Other memories]] (text-style:"blur")[[[Overthoughts|overthought]]]

Some people have a very long and winding story, filled with family connections, maps and other memory shaped devices. The ideal thing, the most ideal thing you could possible be, you think, is unknowable. This was why you were so good at constructing alternative narratives. You held secret selves in the digital, selves that no one could ever get at. Often these constructions were inside games and the memories held there felt stronger than any outside, in what might be called the physical. You wanted to be unbound from any history. There are some words better left unsaid. [[You should leave|centre 3]]

The dreaming was never the fantasy that you hoped; it was and is still //here// in waking hours, a kind of test. There is always a crowd of faces, strange dancing figures, circling and circling again. You have had had this dream since you were a child, a sensation of bodies and bodies coming inwards and this dreadful expectation taking over any form of result. The dream repeats on a loop and is recurring forming ever larger numbers of circles, never stopping. It all adds up to no conclusion and this does not really surprise you after all, because it is only a dream. But is this the only dream you have ever had? Or perhaps this lack of variety in the dreams comes down to you remembering her dreams over all of your own. The two of you sitting up in the mornings, discussing major action that had taken place the night before, eyes groggy, words still forming slowly in mouths. The time she began to speak to you as though she was writing an email, her work taking over all the space that might usually be taken up by thought that doesn't //need// to be useful. //Kindly, move your feet please// she had said from under the covers, //Best wishes// She hated that job. She has had so many jobs. You would struggle to remember them all. You struggle with change. You know this and cannot change that fact. [[Another fact.]] You miss her. You wake up and you miss [[her.|her]]

This is not an unusual activity. Nothing has really changed about the relationship you could say, if you weren't to distinguish between the virtual and the real. //Let's meet later?//, you suggest. It's only after you've sent it, that you realise she's not even in Glasgow anymore. It's weird to think of her now here. She's always been here. You try not to [[ruminate.->centre 1]] (set: $text to true)

You had been keeping in contact since she moved. It wasn't a bad ending, just an inevitable one. You coudn't just forget each other. But recently, this hadn't been helping. You were very different people perhaps. After all, she had said //[[you're a line, I'm a circle.|you're a line]]//

The shape conversation had begun at the exhibition. You'd both gone to see the work of Carol Rhodes, a Scottish artist, whose neat and methodical drawings often provided aerial views of an imagined Glasgow, or a flight path, or interlinking motorway roads (not unlike the motorways which would bridge the various areas of Glasgow together built acorss fifteen years from 1965-1980). There was something very beautiful and in fact very moving, in your mind, about these paintings, perhaps more so, because of their strange quality of overseeing, and it was unclear if it was a human eye doing that seeing. The lines of these drawings appeared at first glance to be neat, exact, but in their speculation, in their imagined futures, in their curve, they swerved, and if you looked twice or more, they performed something else. [[The idea for a project which was already being mapped had begun to swerve.]] (live: 10s) [Oh wait, no, perhaps the shape conversation had happened somewhere else. You've gone down a [[different line of thought.]]] (set: $bgame to true)

You imagine her in this instance, saying //no, no//, we //did// go to that exhibition, but it was at another point we had the shape conversation. And you remember that too, the Bridget Riley exhibition whose hypnotic circles and dancing lines leaned into something more like experience than seeing, a whole body visual experience, moving when at first glance they seemed still. Moving maps of speculation. The spiralling circles almost seemed to cause you distress. Where were they taking you? She loved them, delighted in them, loved their infinitude. //They appear almost like trapping devices!// //No, they don't. They're like a dance.//, she had exclaimed, with great enthusiasm, using her hands to denote the movement, which was her way of expressing so many feelings, with gesture and panache. Sometimes people looked at you and thought you had no feelings. You were unreadable like that. //I want to follow something//, you explain, //I want to follow it through, take it as far as it wants to go. Not in a straight line, of course, but in a series of overlapping lines.// //That is your personality verses mine//, she had said, //isn't it strange how differently we see the world? How we [[walk]] through it?//

The truth was, perhaps you were held in a kind of circle. But why would you want to revel in that? For example, you should be going out for a walk, taking in the fresh air. Maybe going out tonight. Or meeting that person for a date, the one you've been talking to for weeks, who keeps subtly hinting but neither of you will do the thing that is requird, the pulse setting, the setting into motion. Instead the four cornors of this room, the sixteen cornors of this flat seem to hold you, each motion of pacing through each room, surveying them like you're entering the space for the first time, like a tired real estage agent, trying to highlight the benefits of living here. [[You should continue with your project.|The idea for a project which was already being mapped had begun to swerve.|You sit down at the desk]]

{(if: visit is 1)[ [[You sit down at the desk]], now somehow //your desk//, //your things//, //your collections//, //your map//, //your computer//. How strange to think about it like that. [[The dial up phone open to the world, its wires exposed, on the shelf.]] [[The ribbon on the floor.]] [[A pressed dandelion usually used as a bookmark.]] ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[You sit down at the desk]], now somehow //your desk//, //your things//, //your collections//, //your map//, //your computer//. How strange to think about it like that. (either: "[[The dial up phone open to the world, its wires exposed, on the shelf.]]", "[[The ribbon on the floor.]]", "[[A pressed dandelion usually used as a bookmark.]]") ] (else:) [ You grow in agitation. There is something else here too. Like a kind of [[agitated bliss.|centre 3]] ] }

(set: $inventoryofobjects to it + (a: "the fragment of ribbon")) (set: $ribbon to true) The ribbon had been part of something much larger, blurry enough to be a memory. You had trawled that blanket along the bungalow corridor, ripping it upon radiators, till it became only a fragment of itself. Its pale pink faded, its stitches blurring like a thread escaped. You hold it often between your fingers, its softness like a [[melody]] or like [[water.]]

For the past few months, you had begun to circle around a new project. It had been protecting you. This was not unusual for you. Except the truth was, was that this project wasn't entirely new. It was a project you kept returning to, although the last time you looked at it was over seven years ago. The ideas for it now seemed quite naive, too hopeful in their expanses. A speculative map had been drawn. It was the design for a [[game.]]

Set in a speculative Glasgow, the game had been inspired by the Scottish painter and drawer Carol Rhodes, who the two of you had first discoverd at an exhibition at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery in Glasgow. Perhaps you remember the work so clearly because this was in the beginning of the relationship, in that way that experiences around that time of uncertainty and question and excitement can either exist in a blur of waves of feeling or through a microscope of mesmerising high definition. Carol Rhodes, a Scottish artist, whose neat and methodical drawings often provided aerial views of an imagined Glasgow, or a flight path, or interlinking motorway roads (not unlike the motorways which would bridge the various areas of Glasgow together built acorss fifteen years from 1965-1980). There was something very beautiful and in fact very moving, in your mind, about these paintings, perhaps more so, because of their strange quality of overseeing, and it was unclear if it was a human eye doing that seeing. The lines of these drawings appeared at first glance to be neat, exact, but in their speculation, in their imagined futures, in their curve, they swerved, and if you looked twice or more, [[they performed something else.]]

{(if: visits is 1) [& [[press the light|air]] & [[press the light|space]] ] (else:) [& how many times has she pressed this light? & how many times has she been in this place before, or what can only be described as a [[space]]? (set: $adrenaline to it +2) (set: $cortisol to it +1)] }

{(set: $time to (current-time:)) (if: visits is 1)[ [[Time struck it gently on the wings.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[Time struck it with an unfolding map of longing.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[Time struck it before anyone noticed.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[Time thrumming, looping so many chords.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[Time already passing, yet a feeling of great pause flickers.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[Time not so much passing or flowing, but, yes, emerging, the glossy colon of suddenly being over here: a world of wispy vision.|Third Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "time thrumming", "a great pause", "unfolding map of longing")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[Time, refusing to wait for ideas or actions, a pulse pushing at the concept of the centre which the body never quite angles towards. Where are you looking?|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[Time, telling you that you are always running out of it, flickering, passing before you can notice.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[Time, on a data map: (print: $time).|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[Time, calculating a form, seeking it out, curating it.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[Time glitching across creatures, from century to hour.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[Time, never as carefully mapped as we think.|Third Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "time carefully mapped", "time calculating a form", "time glitching")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[There is a part of you that is also thrumming.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[There is a part of you that is also looping.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[There is a part of you that is also trapped.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[There is a part of you that is also mapping, even across the smallest landscapes.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[There is a part of you that is also trans medial.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[There is a part of you that also knows what it knows, before the thinking has begun.|Third Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "looping", "trans medial", "trapped")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[There is a part of you that is the non-character.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[There is a part of you that could be fiction.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[There is a part of you that so desperately wishes to locate the easy search.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[There is a part of you that wakes in the night, pressed to the dark, like silk, like a forever searching, the looping of many nights, like a childhood comfort.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[There is a part of you is different, that is not even a //you//, and cannot locate a //you// in this text at all.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[There is a part of you that wants to catch and kill the moth, to catch and kill the feeling.|Third Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "like silk", "could be fiction", "cannot locate")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[After all, this figure is not allowed to know its own liveness because it is so associated with death.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[After all, how can we possibly begin to perceive and what are we perceiving?|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[After all, there is a delicious emerging, from tightly bound to swerving flight.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[After all, it is always the now of time and perhaps this is of very little consequence.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[After all, this figure resists a name when names matter less than motion.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[After all, this is a figure, not trying to figure itself out.|Third Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "not allowed to know liveness", "resisting a name", "perhaps this is of very little consequence")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[After all, perhaps this is really a labyrinth.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[After all, a labyrinth always leads to the same, the light being the centre, the centre being the focus.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[After all, the labyrinthian //you// wants to track its place, save its score, pass its turns.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[After all, another origin story was the double-sided axe and along which edges do you turn with the moth?|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[After all, the moth also seeks its instinctual centre, moving by any means necessary to get there.|Third Turn Moth 2]] [[After all, there is another labyrinth which can be seen when peering closely at the wings, frames within frames, paths within paths.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[After all, the map of the labyrinth is made through the thrum, of memory, space and time envisaged, of succumbing to a darkness.|Third Turn Moth 1]] [[After all, the labyrinth was constructed to keep the dangerous Minotaur trapped, without portals of escape.|Third Turn Moth 3]] [[After all, the moth is most often seen as the dead returning, and the moth thrums with its gentle re-mapping, a hybrid container of life and death, thought and unthought, like the minotaur with one hoof in the animal, the other in the human.|Third Turn Moth 2]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a hybrid container", "a labyrinth", "a double-sided axe")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[Where moth goes, crafting a map through sidelong dust.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] [[Where moth goes, in collaboration with lines of inquiry.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[Where moth goes, dust cannot settle gently on wings as it can settle back onto skin.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[Where moth goes, a mapping of lineage becomes lost.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[Where moth goes, no one notices except perhaps //you// sitting over there, if //you// want to turn around.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[Where moth goes, you imagine another.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a mapping of lineage becomes lose", "you imagine another", "dust cannot settle gently on wings")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[Where moth goes, the deterministic blending into the random.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] [[Where moth goes, even the minute flapping of wings, causing a stir in the system.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[Where moth goes, not entirely without order, pressing against the pulse.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[Where moth goes, constant feedback loops.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[Where moth goes, the predictable bleeding into dancing sensitivity.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[Where moth goes, you imagine another map, not necessarily logistical, but still it determines, a thrumming out of sticky webs.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "another map not necessarily logistical", "predictable bleeding", "constant feedback loops")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[Machine motion knows the path but the moth doesn’t.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] [[Machine motion overheats, its crackle electric charge, stops before any verb.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[Machine motion in underground chasms, watery colonies, unseen but for the thrum below the surface.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[Machine motion as infrastructure dance without the dance.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[Machine motioning always to stay here and not to look, don’t go beyond the glass, place your face against it and catch another light.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[Machine motion is the sound of many forgotten thrums, the overheating of a computer as one century beckons to another, fingers hot and heavy on the keys.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "machine motioning", "underground chasms", "infrastructure dance")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[The machine of what Paul Virilio calls speed pollution and the tyranny of real time.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] [[The machine of what the philosopher Simone Weil regarded as a constant dehumanisation through effiency, and yes, it saturates, a major threat to the soul.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[The machine that turns to war, beginning as DeLonda argues in 1992, with the Jacquard loom, the original software practice, that he believes marks the migration of human control to machine control, and yet the loom does not equal war.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[The machine that is also flying, in its carefully planned route, the drone, not a thrum but a terrible low hum.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[The machine that is an emergent property.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[The machine that skids on the tarmac.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Virilio, Paul, 1997. Open Sky. trans. by Julie Rose. London: Verso Book.")) (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Weil, Simone, 2004, 1955. Oppression and Liberty. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. London: Routledge.")) (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "De Landa, Manuel, 1992. War in the Age of Intelligent Machines. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Zone Books.")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "Simone Weil", "speed pollution", "the tyranny of real time")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[A shadow of a figure too large for inside, the shadow being the framework of monstrosity.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] [[A shadow of a former self, a sticky self, catching up.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[A shadow against fake light, its blaring quality seeping into eyes.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[A shadow of a tension, an unknowable ending.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[A shadow of death.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[A shadow of a question, still being formed.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "fake light", "time calculating a form", "time glitching")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[This shadow of a map, the shadows of emergence, where the lines could go, but somehow cannot.|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] [[This shadow of the moth’s part in the early maps, for wasn’t one of the earliest maps, ‘Amalgamated Map of the Ming Empire,’ drawn on silk in 1389?|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[This shadow of other thrumming bodies, and other thrumming lands.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[This shadow of a violence.|Fourth Turn Moth 3]] [[This shadow of trembling empires.|Fourth Turn Moth 2]] [[This shadow of a child peering over the insects, lined up in the museum drawer: why aren’t they moving?|Fourth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "shadow of a violence", "trembling empires", "the early maps")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ //[[The possibilities of pleasure seemed that morning so enormous and so various that to have only a moth’s part in life, and a day moth’s at that, appeared a hard fate, and his zest in enjoying his meager opportunities to the full, pathetic. (`1942: 2`)|Fifth Turn Moth 1]]// //[[There's a kind of white moth, I don't know, what kind, that glimmers by mid-May in the forest, just as the pink moccasin flowers are rising. (`1984`)|Fifth Turn Moth 3]]// (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Woolf, Virgina, 1942. The Death of the Moth and Other Essays. New York: Harcourt.")) (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Oliver, Mary, 1984. 'The Moths'.Poetry Foundation. Available at: <https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?volume=143&issue=4&page=31>")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "the possibilities of pleasure", "mid-May in the forest", "a moth's part in life")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ //[[When I looked at the wall, I saw a second moth like the first, its white wings soft and laced with dust (`2024: 152`)|Fifth Turn Moth 2]]// //[[Darkness, radio on. Inside something stirred – a child murmuring in its sleep. A moth bumped against the wall, the door, the light. Berg’s fingers strayed, lingered on the switch. The moth sizzled against the bulb, now wingless fell.(`1964: 1`)|Fifth Turn Moth 1]]// (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Heti, Sheila, 2024. Alphabetical Diaries. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")) (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Quin, Ann, 1964: 2019. Berg. Sheffield: And Other Stories.")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "wings soft and laced with dust", "darkness", "a child murmuring")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{(set: $characterc to true) (if: visits is 1)[ [[Or that the figure did not yet know anything yet or indeed itself.|Second Turn Moth 1]] [[Or that time was spongy and very absurd for being like that.|Second Turn Moth 3]] [[Or that it begins to notice itself only in relation to another larger version.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[Or that a mind can be much smaller than an eye.|Second Turn Moth 3]] [[Or that this figure thrumming is all about nature.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[Or attention, damnation, the falling down of various structures, including the sky.|Second Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a moving mind", "very absurd", "the falling down of various structures")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[Yes, the figure did not yet know anything yet or indeed itself.|Second Turn Moth 1]] [[Yes, time was spongy and very absurd for being like that.|Second Turn Moth 3]] [[Yes, it begins to notice itself only in relation to another larger version.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[Yes, a mind can be much smaller than an eye.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[Yes, this figure thrumming is all about nature.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[Or attention, damnation, the falling down of various structures, including the sky.|Second Turn Moth 1]] ] (else-if: visits is 3)[ [[You still don’t know anything else, perhaps not even yourself.|Second Turn Moth 1]] [[For you, here, now, time is spongy and very absurd for being like that.|Second Turn Moth 3]] [[You are too late.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[You are a body, even when it is only your eye moving.|Second Turn Moth 3]] [[You are a thrum.|Second Turn Moth 2]] [[You are, attention, damnation, the falling down of various structures, including the sky.|Second Turn Moth 1]]] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[On September 9, 1947, at 3.45pm Grace Hopper recorded the first actual case of a computer bug in her logbook. The moth had become trapped in the Harvard Mark II computer.|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] [[Or that this story was not the //first// actual case of a bug being found, the word bug being associated with the negative and therefore perfectly suited to the word error, a mistake, a failure?|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[Or that the word glitch sounds like the noise made by a fizz or a break in the stillness of the day when you encounter a strange figure, so unlike yourself, pressed against the blank page of the wall or that Grace Hopper sounds like a bug herself, another kind of glitch.|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[Or derived from the word //glitsch// in Yiddish, a //slippery place//|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[Or a bug has much larger consequences than a glitch.|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] //[[Or a real bug - those perfect containers for murderous wishes. (`2023: 128`)|Fifth Turn Moth 1]]// (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Lafarge, Daisy, 2023. Lovebug. London: Peninsula Press.")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a real bug", "Grace Hopper", "re-bugging")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[Grace Hopper, in her humour who drew several other bugs that seemed to find their way into machines, including a worm like structure entitled ('he who sends living data’) and a comical dog (‘he who brings good data).|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] [[Grace Hopper, in her tension: We did not know that we did some of the atomic energy computations until after the first atom bomb had been detonated.' `(1949)`|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[Grace Hopper, one of the earliest women in the computing field, met the Mark 1 in 1944, its structure as large as a room. Imagine it thrumming, a machine sweating. 'All I could do was look at it.'|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[Grace Hopper (and was it even her?) notes that it was the moth that meddled with the Mark II at Harvard, a page with the moth taped down like a museum showpiece: ‘moth (in relay)|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[Grace Hopper, writing FLOW-MATIC, a more accessible computational language, so that engineers did not need to be so concerned with the deep inner works and could focus on larger problems.|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[Grace Hopper, working in secret.|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Hoppe, Grace, 1949: 2018. 'Grace under pressure.' National Museum of American History. by. Peggy A. Kidwell, Amelia Grabowski. Available at: <https://americanhistory.si.edu/explore/stories/grace-under-pressure>")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a machine sweating", "in her humour", "in her tension")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[moth //occupancy, or the distribution of moths in Scotland//|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] [[moth //alarming decreases//|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[moth //loss of habitats resulting from more intensive agriculture, commercial forestry, industry and urban development//|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[moth migrating from North Africa to Scotland or moth staying forever in small section of space, country, room, light surveillance|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[moth, a moth- er, many set up only in this life for a day to reproduce or was it really only a day?|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[m, othering landscape|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "'Moths'. Butterfly Conservation. Available at: <https://butterfly-conservation.org/moths>")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "moth migrating", "moth occupancy", "set up only for a day in this life")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[other occupancies of the digital, other maps, other ripples on the water|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] [[other maps, early lithographs, like the shadow of a moth on the wall|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[other ways to track a direction, your pulse always perfectly locatable|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[other cameras, turning before you can|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[other endings, waiting softly, some set out more firmly than others|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] [[other imaginings, out beyond the room, the horizon, the planet|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] [[other futures, receding|Fifth Turn Moth 1]] [[other hopes|Fifth Turn Moth 3]] [[other brushes with life|Fifth Turn Moth 2]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "other futures receding", "other cameras", "other endings")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[That therefore the creature (this figure - or is a figure only human?), seems to be a representation of all the figures of its kind, that it does not have the individual character of the human.|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] [[Or that Virginia Woolf, when writing her essay 'The Death of the Moth' was in the final months of her life, that it was published posthumously, that the essay came from the human and traversed beyond the human.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[Or that the moth has often been associated with death, that we should feel sorry for its time span of a life, a miniature map really, and where does it get to travel to? and that we don't really know.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[Or that the moth was not really //pathetic// in Woolf’s eyes, only noted pathetic when regarded through the human, rather than the thrum.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[Or that there is something not quite human, not quite moth here that Woolf recognises in the turning between a moth and her own emotional, motioning map, in that space of the 'meagre life'.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Woolf, Virgina, 1942. The Death of the Moth and Other Essays. New York: Harcourt.")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "Virginia Woolf", "The Death of the Moth", "her own emotional, motioning map")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[That the apophenia of the moth is contagious.|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] [[That the figuration and reconfiguration of the moth is a desire mapping, the uncontrollable just briefly controlled.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[That why is the moth always so sad? Why do we pay attention in sadness?|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[That in China, the moth is a sign of a return, a loved one coming back to us, resting on us, with us.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[That the moth is always already a ghost, an imprint like the lithographs; the first maps, the first musical scores.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[That the narrative is filled with gaps and and the reader must fill it.|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] [[That the game is compulsive until it’s not.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[That even in sleep, the play continues.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "apophenia", "the narrative is filled with gaps", "even in sleep the play continues")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[Could it be the moth, the //bombyx more//, that is so imbued with economy, usually captured and farmed pre-flight?|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] [[Could it be the //tineola bisselliella// who thrums through scuttle, who maps through the feed and indigestion of clothes, preferring the dirty, the physical memories of human keeping?|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[Could it be the x100 great grandchild of the suspected //plodia interpunctella// searching for grains in technology, brown and camouflaged and seemingly plain?|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "the bombyx more", "the tineola bisselliella", "plodia interpunctella"))] (else-if: $visits is 2) [ [[Could it be the symbol of the many literary moths that flutter more as metaphor than actuality?|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[Could it be the macroglossum stellatarum, half hawk, half hummingbird, whose migration is so large against its small frame, it would be like passing across many universes?|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[Could it be the sesiidae, wings like a detailed drawing, yellow collar swinging through sunlight in urban and rural Scotland bushes, common yet dwindling?|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "the many literary moths", "macroglossum stellatarum", "wings like a detailed drawing")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[A childhood spent crawling.|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] [[A childhood ended through the immersion in small compacted seal.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[A childhood spent in disguise, as twig leaf, to avoid danger.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[A childhood sealed up carefully in time, ending with the packing away|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[A childhood taken in another motion.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[A childhood, haunted by a small body.|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a childhood sealed up carefully", "a childhood spent in disguise", "a childhood spent crawling")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[A childhood ended.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[A childhood spent.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[A childhood sealed.|Sixth Turn Moth 3]] [[A childhood taken.|Sixth Turn Moth 2]] [[A childhood, haunted.|Sixth Turn Moth 1]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "a childhood spent", "a childhood haunted", "a childhood ended")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[To thrum with an unavoidable anticipation.|moth opening]] [[To thrum with an agitation.|moth opening]] [[To thrum tremendously to the degree that the screen, the light, distorts.|moth opening]] [[To thrum with a longing but for what?|moth opening]] [[To thrum orgasmically through the quiver of a pen.|moth opening]] [[To thrum.|moth opening]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "to thrum tremendously", "to thrum orgasmically", "to thrum with an agitation")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[For the character of G.H in Clarice Lispector’s novel The Passion According to G.H., the killing of the cockroach incites a becoming-insect.|moth opening]] [[For the boundaries between both, in an act of frustration, makes leakiness loom.|moth opening]] [[For there is a leakiness and then only portals remain.|moth opening]] //[[I was watching my transformation from chrysalis into moist larva, my wings were slowly shrinking back scorched. (`1964: 6`)|moth opening]]// [[G.H does not follow a trajectory of plot but weaves map in thought dimension.|moth opening]] [[What would G.H. look like //algorithmically//?|moth opening]] [[In the art gallery, a fly lands on the installation screen and is read as part of the art. In the bedroom a moth grows bigger, and its distortions change the dark reflection?|moth opening]] [[Do you see it?|moth opening]] [[Did you kill it?|moth opening]] (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Lispector, Clarice, 1964: 2012. The Passion According to G.H. . trans. by Idra Novey. New York: New Directions.")) (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "Clarice Lispector", "a leakiness", "weaving map in thought dimension")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[Feel uncomfortable flying around a mysterious light.|moth opening]] [[Feel unsure about what mapping this flying around entails.|moth opening]] [[Feel this way at work.|moth opening]] [[Feel this way at home.|moth opening]] [[Feel the variables pulsing up towards you.|moth opening]] [[Want the seamless, a frictionless surface.|moth opening]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "uncomfortable flying", "a frictionless surface", "variables pulsing up")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[Flying great|moth opening]] [[Turning bad|moth opening]] [[Facing the wonderful|moth opening]] [[Turning terrible|moth opening]] [[The light|moth opening]] [[The dark|moth opening]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "the light", "the dark", "turning terrible")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

{ (if: visits is 1)[ [[Spiralling through invisible labyrinth.|moth opening]] [[Spiralling through invisible information.|moth opening]] [[Spiralling through reason, completely unknown.|moth opening]] [[Spiralling through angles of perception, changing noticeably.|moth opening]] [[Spiralling through centuries, in the choreographies of a few seconds.|moth opening]] [[Spiralling, maybe.|moth opening]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "spiralling through reason", "spiralling through angles of perception", "spiralling through centuries")) ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ [[Hauntology of desire, dispersed and thrumming through space and time.|moth opening]] [[Hauntology of systems, dying out slowly, bugged, weighted.|moth opening]] [[Hauntology of the moth families, trying to keep up to date.|moth opening]] [[Hauntology of the soul, speaking across species.|moth opening]] [[Hauntology of that deja vu, of other thrummings, through books, letters, films, games, landing gently on hands on summer days, in clothes long sent away.|moth opening]] [[Hauntology of being here before.|moth opening]] (set: $mapofthrumming to it + (a: "hauntology of the soul", "hauntology of systems", "hauntology of desire")) ] (else:)[ Turns: (print: $turns) Map of Thrumming: (print: $mapofthrumming) [[Enter a new portal.|Connections Figure C]] (if: $characterc is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]] [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]] (else-if: $characterc and $characterb is true)[ [[Fall inside the computer.| Figure A]]] (else-if: $characterc and $charactera is true)[ [[Zoom out from the moth.| Figure B]]]] (set: $turns to it +1)}

You had meant to go out, you would know pals there and you would try not to drink too much, though predictably this was often the direction you chose to take. Easier. For courage. It was difficult to continue absorbing friendships in some circles but the particular circles you had chosen to surround yourselves in over the years had helped because no one in these circles would go in a single direction. This was simply understood. You were simply understood. You were nearing thirty. But age was quite irrelevant within that group, anyway. You wanted to, needed to, move in some small way. Meant to. Later, D called drunkenly; you could hear the echos of beats behind them, gossip trailing down the line, half heard sentences sticking. Meant to. Spoke most evenings with [[her.|her]]

Some days you feel that you have reached a place of knowledge, and on other days this seems to disappear entirely. Can a day wipe itself instantly clean after it passes? Shaking in the back, always shaking in the back. Instead, a strange searching took place. Loading, forever loading up. You knew you liked the dark better, somehow noise subsumes in the dark, somehow the fluttering, that beating, thrumming can pause. Why is the morning so pressurised in its expectancy? Increasingly you had been sleeping on your front, head in the pillow. Strange outlines almost coalescing into knowable images were traced upon their cheeks. You woke with something like //dread//? Are you still capable of surprise? You know that each day feels the same, that it had to feel this way somehow as well. The city aches in us. You know you miss [[her]].

If only you could pinpoint it, a careful grasping of location, a formula, a box, an object. The abstraction never helps. A straight-forward cause and correlation would be useful. A place to begin, follow through and finish. You remember the conversation: She was saying:// [[you're a line]], I'm a circle, you're a line, [[I'm a circle.->you're a line]]//

Well, maybe //worry// isn't the right word. She will be fine, she always was. Even with everything changing so fast; the unexplained pains, the repeated appointments, a haze over everything. Days of no thought, stacked up agaisnt each other. Her laughter still ringing off the tiles as you showered. Nights out continuing long after her work finished, after the bar closed, her voice ringing down the phone: //I won't be long, okay, actually, I might be, don't know, don't wait up for me.// You didn't really mind too much as she'd be back. You liked the sensation of her body crawling in beside yours, the gentle awakening, even the faint whiff of alcohol on her breath. You were just worried the colleagues might wonder where you were, //who// you were, why you were never usually out. There was a logic to your understanding of how you both functioned. She would say: //[[you're a line]], I'm a circle//.

The truth is, you were still getting used to being alone. Shape of an animal stretched out into a human possibility backlit onto the wall. And yes, while you liked being alone, that was different from living within this space. A space designed for two? [[No]]

That was wrong, the flat was meant to be only for her. That's how they'd played it when the landlord had first shown them around. An all-in-one. A studio. Hidden in the roof. //Yes, I'm just bringing a friend.// You were both good at pretence, when required. Sometimes you worry you rushed all that, the moving in, the quick comfort of time and space colliding. It was cheaper of course. But all of that had been easy, hadn't it? [[What is held now]]

It's //you.// Lingering, always, here, now. Or so it feels. You're not sure? You're waking up. It feels like you're always just waking up. Looking around as though you are seeing the room through a silent and blurred window. The room sings with the silence, and still the tap drips, the surfaces help themselves to the light. A low moving and unknown suspense enjoys itself in the dust. Wall in front of you holds on its chipped surface a dappled shadow, not your own, overbearing, signalling a soft sensation of dread in the body. Or is that sensation desire? Or excitement? Or anxiety? A single moth around the empty bulb you thought had broken but here it is bright as ever and the moth, ghostly, distorted and huge in this enclosed space. You should move it though it is not easy to catch an [[outline| Figure C]] like that moving so swiftly, you should really move //yourself//, but somehow it's not happening yet. The room, your own, its contents scattered (to an outside observer, at least) and yet distributed in assigned areas and it has a logic you understand. The objects, certain of their own presence. After all, both you a figure, Figure B, on a long drawn out and entangled map, with your objects and the presense of this room, have spent so many hours here in other small fitted frames of time - strange to think in hours of a life rather than days, months, years, life stages - and how do we add all of this up? [[What you have dreamt]] [[What you know]] [[What happened three nights ago]] (set: $balanceb to true) (set: $gashpainting to false) (set: $characterb to true)

A classic choice. When you play back conversations. The time you got so drunk and started insulting everyone. The time you forgot. The time when you left home, the need to not think about that one too much at all. The time when you were felt up on the bus. The time when both of you couldn't stop crying. The only time it happened for you. Turns out you weren't so different after all. The time you left work, shaking. Screaming to the air. [[Calm down]] [[Calm down]] [[Calm down]]

(set: $balanceb to false) Clearly you can't. [[A pause]] (live: 3s) [[[It's time to leave the flat, yes|centre 3]]]

{(either: "When you play back conversations. You watch yourself like a strange voyeur watching their worst enemy. The screen is strange. It holds conversations. You are hyper aware and become the voice speaking to the //you//. The landscape glitches. ", "The time you got so drunk and insulted everyone. It was when everything was starting to spiral between the two of you. Sometimes you remember in snatches: short breaths of vision and anger and another you", "The time you forgot. Everything. It happens sometimes in small snatches, like when you forget why you have gone to the other side of the room. But sometimes you forget faces, including the face of your own mum.", "The time you left home, but you didn't really leave; you had to go. You have never really been the one leaving. You're used to staying", "The time when you were felt up on the bus; you thought it had been a mistake, just the usual Glasgow bus you took, nothing different. Turns out even the most awful things can happen and do happen in crowds", "The time when neither of you could stop crying; she was in the shower and you were the one who said you couldn't do it. The two of you were infective with your feelings in that way. You didn't know how to support and neither did she, did you? Or should you have done something different? Perhaps you were both circles, rather than lines.", "That time you left work, shaking. Screaming to the air. It is not normal to scream like this in a city like this. It provokes danger and other inappropriate behaviours.")} [[Calm down]] {(if: $adrenaline is >9)[ (text-colour:red)[//ERROR! The narrative is breaking down. Your adrenaline is far too high. Yes you, the player and also [[the character|Accept the glitch]]//] ] }

You walk over to the desk. The glass steamed up, which seems to motion a body. You remember drawing images on the fogged up windows as a child. Maps. Maps of what? Secret underground worlds it seemed. The figures almost amounting to one grand body. Perhaps they were ants or some other hybrid insect. You had always hated crowds though. There was always much activity. Perhaps you have always obsessed about diagrams in this way. [[You sit down.|centre 1]]

When humans are falling into unconsciousness, they fall into what can be described as a //hypnagogic//state. You read about this once during a period of ambient googling. What happens if you are just waking up in this place? What is the opposite of //hypnagogic//? You look it up. The word does exist. It is //hypnopompia.// When you first wake up like this, you feel a certain anti-hallucination. Reality comes at you so fast, the body goes into a kind of shock. Reality becomes, briefly and with great force, a simulation for the dream. You have these kind of thoughts in a state like this. (link-goto: (either: "What happened three nights ago", "What you know"))

{(if: visits is 1) [In the game you construct a figure who will wander the motorways, weaving in and out. While the building up of the landscape using Rhode's paintings, came to you quite naturally, even if over many days and evenings, fleshing out small details, the character had other questions to ask. Everytime you began to construct a template, a prototype of who they are, you desperately don't want this to be you. Instead, you construct the figure as her. Of course, it's not actually //her//. You don't want this to be obvious. Although, at this stage, you have no plans to share the game. The funny thing is you could probably tell her. She liked that sort of thing. She was the one who wrote in that mysterious notebook, occasionally reading out the odd line or two. You wish you could remember them. You could always text her. No. You need to try and not do that at the moment. [[So she's walking along a motorway]] [[So she's leaving somewhere]] [[So she's heading somewhere]] ] (else:) [ (if: $balanceb is true )[ You need to go. Not for any particular reason, just to emerge out into some kind of wider map. Map of longing. Map of time. Map of an unthought, body blurring into space. [[The birds call, fog lifts from the glass, you step outside.|Link to conclusion B]] ] (else:)[ You glance at your phone. (print: $playertime) Today is: (print: $playerdate) You hold (print: $inventoryofobjects) Time has barely passed. You find yourself always in this strange ongoing //now// in a kind of looped map , which could always be a stranger future. What does it mean if you remain inside a state for too long? The hypnagogia of falling. Never quite knowing where you will land. The weather of your emotions have never followed a steady season. You want to lie down. [[You try and resist.|Glitch possibility B]] ] ] }

{(if: visits is 1)[ You cannot seem to leave even though you need to feel the outside world sometimes. A simple and not so difficult plan. You're not even working today. Remember? (if: $balanceb is true)[ [[Work on the project|centre 2]] [[Go inside the swirl|A pause]] [[Arrange things|centre 1]] ] (else:)[ (text-style:"blurrier")[Work on the project ] [[Go inside the swirl]] (text-style:"blurrier")[Arrange things] ] ] (else-if: visits is 2)[ You cannot seem to leave even though you need to feel the outside world sometimes. A simple and not so difficult plan. You're not even working today. Remember? (if: $balanceb is true)[ [[Work on the project|centre 2]] [[Go inside the swirl|A pause]] [[Arrange things|centre 1]] ] (else-if: $balanceb is false)[ (text-style:"blurrier")[Work on the project ] [[Go inside the swirl|A pause]] (text-style:"blurrier")[Arrange things] ] ] (else-if: visits is 3)[ (if: $balanceb is true )[ You need to go. Not for any particular reason, just to emerge out into some kind of wider map. Map of longing. Map of time. Map of an unthought, body blurring into space. [[The birds call, the glass unblurs, you step outside.|Link to conclusion B]] ] (else:)[ Why can't you leave? What is wrong with you? The room seems to shimmer. [[You fall back inside the screen|centre 1]] ]] (else-if: visits is 4)[ (if: $balanceb is true )[ You need to go. Not for any particular reason, just to emerge out into some kind of wider map. Map of longing. Map of time. Map of an unthought, body blurring into space. [[The birds call, fog lifts from the glass, you step outside.|Link to conclusion B]] ] (else:)[ You glance at your phone. (print: $playertime) Today is: (print: $playerdate) You hold (print: $inventoryofobjects) Time has barely passed. You find yourself always in this strange ongoing //now// in a kind of looped map , which could always be a stranger future. What does it mean if you remain inside a state for too long? The hypnagogia of falling. Never quite knowing where you will land. The weather of your emotions have never followed a steady season. You want to lie down. [[You try and resist.|Glitch possibility B]] ] ] }

{(if: $threestrings and $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappngs. [[Loading...|conclusion1]] ] (else-if: $threestrings and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, The Bliss of the Glitch and These Entangled Mappings [[Loading...|conclusion2]] ] (else-if: $egameplay and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: The Bliss of the Glitch, Emergent Gameplay,Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings. [[Loading...|conclusion3]] ] (else-if: $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: Emeregent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings and you may be feeling ready for some kind of [[release?|blissentry]] ] (else-if: $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: The Bliss of the Glitch & These Entangled Mappings and it is now time to stride out into anoter [[physical arena|threestrings]] ] (else-if: $threestrings is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal|egameplay]]", "[[portal|blissentry]]") ] (else-if: $entangled is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal|egameplay]]", "[[portal|blissentry]]", "[[portal|threestrings]]") ] (else:) [An absent conclusion: You are unable to conclude and so you must choose to begin again. <a href="end" >Leave quickly!</a>] }

{(if: $adrenaline is >9)[ (de-bug:) (text-colour:red)[//Error! The collection is broken. Your adrenaline is far too high. Yes //you//. As player, user, reader. We are past breaking point.//] [[Accept the glitch]] [[Tap into your variable conclusion|Link to conclusion B]] [[Pass through another portal|Link to conclusion B]] ] (else:)[ (either: "[[You lie back down and fall into another kind of dream.| Figure C]]", "You lie back down and fall into another kind of dream.| Figure A]]", "[[You lie back down and fall into another kind of dream.|Link to conclusion B]]") (if: $egameplay, $blissglitch, $threestrings is true) [[You are passing through another portal|] ] }

(set: $inventoryofobjects to it + (a: "the pressed dandelion")) (set: $dandelion to true) It was never really yours. Perhaps this is your earliest memory: finding the flower inside a book. You had never seen a pressed flower before and continued to be bemused as the days passed and it stayed alive without any water, or even sunlight. You had found it in [[the book you stole.]]

{(set: $inventoryofobjects to it + (a: "a dial up phone, opened up, wires entangled")) (set: $phone to true)} You had discovered the phone down at the Barrowlands Market one Sunday. You had suddenly had the inexplicable need to open it up and look inside. You had never had an interest in a phone like tha before. Though, you worked well with machines, this desire to fall back into an old one was an unlikely excursion. Was she with you at the time? You can't remember. All you can remember is the beauty of seeing it the first time. Bright red, with the [[pulse dialling.]]

You imagine a figure somewhere on a map. The identity is still uncertain. The map is somewhere you know well because otherwise it is too difficult to go there. [[There are other places you can imagine.]] [[It's Glasgow, it's here.]]

You have never really travelled far. The odd holiday, it's true, but you tended to stay in Scotland. Up north you'd go the first week of summer, with the other kids from the village. Faces, legs, knees, feet all tucked in. Sometimes four of you sneakily pressed together, heads down when you passed through towns. [[But you don't need to just stick to memory]] [[A memory can always unravel]]

You'd been here twelve years now. As soon as you could leave home, there you were. A confused soul on a bus, asking where to put the money in. You'd never been on one before. Feeling raw to the world like that. The city with a circular subway system, badly organised buses, and weather that shifted every half hour or so. With that motorway that extended through it, like a slight rush in the future, a wannabe cosmpolitan bigscape branching out past the old tenements. You happen to live in one of those tenements, sliced through, perched up against the modern, which is always quickly fading into the past. The remnants of faded industry. The ghosts of colonialism. Prices rising every hour. [[You grow instinctively obsessive and fall inside a search]] [[You want to make good use of your time, before it all slips away. You return to that initial idea|back to the project]]

You can know enough about everything it seems, without even leaving a room. You feel the information come into your brain so quickly you barely notice as it's happening. The slow tension against detail succumbing. A friend tells you about a site where you can see live cameras of action happening. You find yourself going there sometimes, and wonder if its voyeuristic. //You can travel the world// says the site. [[Without ever leaving your room.]]

You always had different versions of events. When you really think about it, neither of you were wrong. You can be describing or experiencing the same landscape of a person, but looking at it from a different angle. Your pulse ringing out over here on the other side of the map. This is the kind of thing you think about but never say. Also the kind of thing you think would be a good thing to say but you only remember afterwards, riding on the subway too long, in its weaving circle. You never seem to speak until its always already too late. [[She had said, //you're a line, I'm a circle.//|you're a line]]

You'd been working on a project; well trying to work on it. But you were the kind to often get sidetracked, helped in no small part by the internet's rumblings. The rumblings of the city outside only add to the ambience. The constant streaming past of cars, at all times of day far down below, [[a never-changing variable.]]

The idea was in many ways still [[only an idea.|You sit down at the desk]] (set: $bgame to true)

Your favourite cameras to turn to are the ones without humans. On a nest you can usually see a large eagle with its babies, in California, looking out into the wind. You wonder if animals have any rights around surveillance. Probably not. Recently the camera has gone down, and you keep searching for it hopefully, like an old friend, like an old lover. Another point of contact has abandoned. You look up Glasgow but there appear to be no live cameras. You wonder where one would be placed. You think about how much you hate being seen in that way; unplanned, watched over. You read somewhere that Glasgow has the most security cameras in a city than anywhere else in the UK. [[If you're here, who can locate you?]]

You peel yourself away from the screen. What are you doing?! You don't want to get carried away again. You turn back to [[your idea.|back to the project]]

{(if: $threestrings and $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappngs. [[Loading...|conclusion1]] ] (else-if: $threestrings and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, The Bliss of the Glitch and These Entangled Mappings [[Loading...|conclusion2]] ] (else-if: $egameplay and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: The Bliss of the Glitch, Emergent Gameplay,Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings. [[Loading...|conclusion3]] ] (else-if: $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: Emeregent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings and you may be feeling ready for some kind of [[release?|blissentry]] ] (else-if: $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: The Bliss of the Glitch & These Entangled Mappings and it is now time to stride out into anoter [[physical arena|threestrings]] ] (else-if: $threestrings is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal|egameplay]]", "[[portal|blissentry]]") ] (else:) [An absent conclusion: You are unable to conclude and so you must choose to begin again. <a href="info" >Leave quickly!</a>] }

More precisely the M8. The weather might change. The traffic will make that sound it always does. Time might stutter. Meanwhile you, [[held inside.|centre 3]]

Where would she be leaving? Time, place, a memory. No, she would be leaving the hospital as she so often was. Arriving, leaving, leaving, arriving. {[(if: $charactera is false)[ Yes, always returning, [[an ongoing jouney.| Figure A]] ] (else:) [ But where is this [[hospital?|So she's walking along a motorway]] ] }

{(if: $characterc is true) [ Your mind loops like a whirring flying thing in circles. No, she must have some kind of direction, [[some kind of pulse.| Figure A]] ] (else:) [ Where are you heading? Inside the [[game.| Figure A]] ] }

What did a landscape perform? Growing up in an empty rural landscape, the notion that you can also see clearly across an urban one had captured you. When you looked at Rhodes' drawings, as plans for a landscape not crafted for an economic end or for a gimmicky purpose but instead as a strangely detailed texture of seeing, you had a fierce desire to visit these places. Perhaps in dreams, perhaps somewhere else. When you look up the work later, you read that Rhodes did not intend for these drawings to be political, although you note that she came back to painting and drawing after a break away, in which she was largely involved in political activities, including Reclaim the Night demonstrations and protests against the introduction of nuclear submarines at HMNB Clyde. [[In one drawing, interweaving motorways.]] [[In another, a gash opens up in the ground.]] [[In another the entrance to a well-known subway, surrounded by the rural.]]

There are several of the drawings that could be described in this way and they should no be bundled so easily together. You search for the one you remember most clearly in dark greys, beginning in city, before stretching out to farmland. You carry the memories of walking acoss the M8 motorway that connects the east of Glasgow to other town-like gatherings. A motorway forcing its way into the city's centre. You picture the old Royal Hospital, perhaps just out of the scape of the pictue. Both you and her walking across the motorway, alongside a [[few other blurry figures|centre 2]] and many cars, roaring like a strange river.

One of the paintings, untitled it seems, for you cannot seem to locate it anywhere after the image is seared into your brain. In it, what appears to be the edge of a hillside or a kind of crevice in the landscape is opened up. The brown of the soil integrates with the what appear to be veins, like blood passing through. Whenver you look at this picture, it opens up something new. From another angle, it could also be the side of a body. The shape of the crevice looks like genitalia. Perhaps a rush of blood towards a clitorus? The extreme intimacy of the view. The extreme lack of intimacy of the great expanse. An injury. Something pierced where it is not meant to go. A breathing land, a land of extraction, [[blood rising to the surface.]] (set: $gashpainting to true)

The entrance to Kelvingrove Underground in the west of the city emerges surrounded by a rural landscape. A Glasgow translated and fed back to the natural world. Would this be the dream of Scotland all the visitors dream of? Somehow not. It is something held between dystopia and a question. A kind of threshold space. There is no one here in the image so it is unclear whether this is a Glasgow of a future, its infrastructure no longer any use. You think of other landscape performances. [[A gash opens up in the ground|In another, a gash opens up in the ground.]] [[An interweaving of motorways|In one drawing, interweaving motorways.]]

Along the trails of blood in the painting (if this is what they are), you can follow paths and tracks. They are also like mini motorways. Some bright green trees cut through the colour. At the exhibition, you despertely wanted to touch the painting. It felt like a part of you but you couldn't explain why. Was it the fields that reminded you of childhood? Or something else? [[You look outside]]

The motorway almost touches your building, tucked in at the edge of the city's East End. You've lived here for five years now, mostly with her, of course. You need to stop thinking about that fact. You could always move out, but why does that feel so difficult? You live on the busiest motorway in Scotland. So much time the two of you had spent wandering the sides of those motorways. Against the sides of those roads, nature grew, slowly but surely. The M8. Mate. Built bit by bit, in an attempt to regernate the city, crashing through homes in the case. So many parts left unfinished, like a project that goes on forever and doesn't want to end. Glasgow sometimes felt like that. There was always something blocked of, because it had been broken down or being [[torn down.]]

She had told you about it, having grown up in the same neighbourhood you lived in now. The central flats falling. No homes given. You're sure there will be another scheduled soon. An invent. Like a ghost of other bombings taking place across the world. A deliberate attack. You don't want to equate it with that, not really. And yet, a violence, like a gash to the landscape. [[Like a motorway, a fast paced loading.|In one drawing, interweaving motorways.]]

The rhythm of the ribbon dictates its touch. As in, you hold it and pace your ribbons through and around your hand. Whenever you feel a dread arrive, you only need to think of a ribbon; this one, in particular. If this ribbon did have a melody, it would be a harmony perhaps, a drawn out three notes, like three strings, the instruments ambivalent, threading their way, like the marking lines of textile you can see across its front. Because the ribbon is only a fragment, it has [[no function.]]

A ribbon like a river. What would it look like if Glasgow's rivers turned into this pale pink? The performed femininity. Or so extreme it would go beyond any stereotype. You imagine what it would be to swim in this river and in your mind configure this as a kind of bliss. [[Texture after all, is important.]]

You read about the origin of the ribbon. Perhaps ribbons were in fact your main interest, after all. You concluded this after the tenth time reaching for it the other day. Ribbon as pulse. A familiar tune cut away. A cut across generation gift, a landscape of longing. Did she take the rest away when she left? The ribbon is not so much a clue, as a ghost. A palimpsest for memory. A trailing away sensitivity cut up too easily. [[You hold it tight.|centre 1]]

You had never been good at texture, still aren't. The feeling of corduroy as a child. Second-hand trousers. Made you feel sick. Your clothes have never been fancy, and you still havent found what could be described as an identity. You imagine now what it would be like to wear one long ribbon, its edges trailing off you like electrical wires. Texture in clothes, and food and even the texture of light is [[very important.]]

What would a ribbon architecture look like? {(if: $gashpainting is true)[ What would it look like if Caroles' painting of blood and crevice were composed not f streams and rivers or body imaginaries but giant ribbons? Like the red thread extended to its luxurious lover in that classic Greek myth, given to Theseus by Ariadne to guide him through the Minotaur’s labyrinth. A thread can be grasped but a ribbon can be clambered upon. A composition of multiples, [[a palimpsest of sensatiosn and materials.]] ] (else-if: $gashpainting is false)[ What would it look like if the motorways across Glasgow extended as ribbons? The softness halting all traffic and for a few moments a gentle luxury given over to a crowd. A returning to comfort once more. Like the red thread extended to its luxurious lover in that classic Greek myth, given to Theseus by Ariadne to guide him through the Minotaur’s labyrinth. A thread can be grasped but a ribbon can be clambered upon. A composition of multiples, [[a palimpsest of sensatiosn and materials.]] ] }

As soon as you start thinking about the sensation of touch, you remember one of the first questions you asked as a child. It was a question of silkworms. //How did they know?//, you asked. You were asking mum. You must have been very young, before she left. //How did they know what?//, she said. //Where to begin.//, you had answered. In other words, you meant how did they know how to work together, to begin, and where did the beginning arise. Later, she would buy you a book of questions and answers. Your questions were getting quite niche. The book never contained [[an answer to this question.]]

It begins with a leaf. With many leaves. And mulberries. And worms that feast upon them. Worms referred to sometimes as silk workers. Brushing through their cocoons, in their metamorphic phasing, trying to find the loose threads. All these loose threads. The humane way; once they have left their larvae forms and emerged as moths. The less humane way; they are not given time to emerge instead, their larvae forms are taken and boiled. The thought of this ribbon origin story is [[highly disturbing.]]

You watch a video of this assemblage. A spiral is set out like a labyrinth of its own, with the larvae placed inside. They stand up like large exhibition pieces, like landscape architecture. Later, the strands crafted are placed into the boiling water, before being turned in their paralell threads on a twirling loom. The ribbonworkers alongside the silkworms, are historically female. You don't know where [[the rest of the ribbon]] or [[indeed this thought|centre 1]] is going to go.

Ribbons, you read, are read to hold things together, beginning in the Middle Ages, although for many they are also merely decorative. The hair bow, the tassle, the edge, the baroque. But what if your ribbon exhibits none of these presences? What else would it perform? A repetition like the rolling of water on a river, a melody in return. A careful texture, a fine-tuning of a self. Perhaps you are more ribbon in all your presence and lack of. The ribbon in all its [[ambivalent origins.|centre 1]]

You knew that it is still very easy to get hold of one of these rotary style phones, so this wasn't exacty a special artefact. And yet something about it spoke to you. Was it the same feeling they had in the early births of many technologies: that you could speak to something else through them? Many believed after all, that with the emergence of wireless technologies that you could speak to souls, be they spirits, dead or extra-terrestrial. [[What would you say if this was true?]]

You can look your mum up anywhere but that's who you would call first. You would call the soul first. Not just the number. The soul. Such an old fashioned word. Was your soul now all over the internet or had you managed to keep that small part hidden? You would tell her about your life, about your relationship, about how much had changed to you during that time, about how you are like each other and does she want to be like that? Be like what? It is difficult to find an 'I' here so perhaps the phone will help. With crackle and glitch and various interference as safe interfaces to reach a fine and delicate surface. A carefully planned [[threshold.]]

Perhaps you have a threshold problem. After all, you have known many, who once passed, can find no way to come back. The changes feel drastic. You love beginnings. The phone was one and you immediately set to unwrapping it. That was another project. That you would resurrect the phone. Take an old and unloved object and bring it back to life in some form. For four long days, you unpacked the wires, tending to its careful body. It lay now open, like a wounded soul. [[Another threshold crossed.]]

Sometimes in your dreams, you swear you can hear it ringing. Although you never had a phone like that growing up; it was before your time. And yet in the dream, it's not like a dream, it really is like a memory. Sometimes you wake up in a panic, thinking who's calling, who's calling. You forget to look at your own phone when it's important. It's not really a phone though, is it? Is it her calling? Whose calling? Everyone seems to leave. When you pick up the phone no one replies and the line makes a [[high pitched hum.]]

The hum is the sound you hear as information. Information can also be emotion. It is hard to know what to prioritise. You feel you know less and less each day. Sometimes, you forget time in this way. It is only when the hum commences that you become aware of this. Perhaps the overwhelm has its benefits. Perhaps it is a sign you are listening carefully. Or that something needs to change. [[You get dressed quickly.]]

You move towards the doorway. [[You stand at the threshold.|centre 1]]

The book was a classic nursery book but you didn't have it at home at that age. It was called //Goodnight Moon//. The picture book by Margaret Wise Brown, published in 1947. You wonder how many generations of children have been read this book. After all it's a picture book. This was during the stage in your life when you were pretending to read, mimicking an adult voice. It was clear there was a bunny on the page of this book who appeared to be trying to sleep. [[There was also a moon.]]

Later, you would hear someone else reading the book from the other side of the daycare. //Goodnight moon.// //Goodnight mouse.// //Goodnight brush.// and then came suddenly and inexplicably the phrase: //[[Goodnight nobody.]]//

You needed to know who this was, this nobody? You went into the nursery with a mission that day, at four years old, carefully concealing the book under your jacket. You needed to spend time with this nobody, [[this strange nothing presense.]]

And so the flower also became a strange presense of nothing, not a life, but a memory held for a moment in time. Was it living? It certainly wasn't entirely dead or it didn't seem that way. No one ever asked where the book kept, although you stayed away most nights, whispering the words almost like a mantra. The flower felt even more personal. [[Who had picked it?]]

The dandelions as the most common weed. What children pick. Common. You notice them everywhere now, in the most unlikely of situations. Always in small groups. You never really hung out in any groups at that age. Instead you became obsessed with this [[image of a nobody.]]

You lost the book but somehow the flower remained, pressed and compressing itself among multiple books. Why you had such attachment to small objects like these, you never quite knew. She had been shocked when you first moved in: the unpacking of various large boxes of [[tiny things]], carefully preserved in small tins or held together by string.

You look up the book. Did others also have this sacred relationship to this simple narrative? In one rendition, online, a script it seems, the 'goodnight nobody' has been removed and instead replaced with 'goodnight noises anywhere'. On a Reddit thread, you discover that others also had this reaction. Why was //Goodnight Moon// controversial? The internet answers that this is because it was a highly realistic book without plot, set in a single room. You wonder how your life would appear as a plot. You are so easily distracted. [[You move back to the project.|centre 2]]

(de-bug:) It is time to make your own map. Right hand click on the screen before you and click inspect. You will find another hidden text at the top of the code which emerges to the side of your browser. Now, if you dare, you can click on the arrow for 'tw-passage'; double click on the text held within there, which is the text here on the screen, type what you most desire, your own blisses and click enter. Watch the text change on the screen. You can change your //Adrenaline//, //Dopamine// and //Cortisol// levels as you move towards another portal by changing the number in your URL address, after a= for //Adrenaline//, b= for //Dopamine//, c= for //Cortisol//. Mess the code. Glitch the senses. Merge in language. Now, continue into [[another portal|Link to conclusion B]] with this knowledge or [[begin again|a cityscape emerges]].

(live: 4s) [& yes, she must press the light again] (live: 8s) [& yes, press the light] (live: 10s) [& yes, a slow kind of loading (click-replace: "loading") [[pressing]] here] (live: 16s) [& [[pressing]]]

& it was strange how she walked this route so often and memorised it not by the memory of the physical but through the memory of other memories (live: 5s) [& she'd done this all before, //actually// done this, walked out of the hospital, found herself here again, only that the time of the day and weathers were like variables in the mix] (live: 10s) [& what did they say at work sometimes? that you have to have a friendly tone to your voice, a smile that they can hear down the line] (live: 15s) [& that she had become pretty good at this, at smiling down the stretch of a line, the stretch of a space] (live: 20s)[[[cross the road to the left|left option]]]

the truth is, if no one tells you where or why your pain is located, how are you meant to attend to it? (live: 10s) [the truth is, the pain is not //always// there, but when it is there, she can't remember a time when it wasn't //always// there] (live: 20s) [the truth is that sometimes she also feels nothing, like a blur, like a dot flashing, //there//, //not there// on some aerial view she can't quite even imagine] (live: 30s)[the truth is that you can never really know what anybody else's body feels like, what it's like to live in that body //there// and not this body //here//] (live: 40s) [the truth is that the man who saw her in that hospital exclaimed that //she really should be screaming if she was actually in that kind of pain//, an admittance, not even subtle, that he didn't believe her] (live: 50s) [the truth is that everyone was waiting and that being in that space opens up another kind of portal to other kinds of pain and that watching the man on the ground recoiling and the woman shaking and the other guy shouting 'fuck sake!' and the figure, head bowed down, brought in by the police, to the waiting room was a insight into the messy undersides of a life] (live: 60s) [the truth is that, there are gentle seconds of solidarity in a place like that, brief moments of eye contact like the sweet moments of non-pain, and that she read the French call this //jouissance//, [[something like bliss]]]

& when you are in your own pain how do you move beyond yourself?, she wonders, (live: 4s) [& yet //you can understand//] (live: 8s) [& who is //you?//] (live: 12s) [& is anyone out there right now, and yes it does seem that everyone is all around and so in a way she never wants to go home] (live: 16s) [& the imagination can be there in that way] (live: 20s) [& that strange dizziness you can get when there can almost be a second clarity] (live: 24s) [but really thought or indeed a long thought can be difficult in those moments] (live: 28s) [& her ex, sitting gently with her, in the pain, and now she has to be braver] (live: 29s) [maybe] (live: 30s) [not sitting down yet] (live: 31s) [loading (click-replace: "loading") [loading]] (live: 34s) [then, [[pain again|still in pain]]]

there is a strange sensation and it feels like this: (live: 3s) [you are walking in a place that seemingly has no history, a place like this] (live: 5s) [though everywhere has a history right?] (live: 10s) [especially the places we can't see] (live: 15s) [//the sensation of the eerie occurs either when there is something present where there should be nothing, or is there is nothing present when there should be something.//](live: 18s) [[[`(2017: 61)`|Inventory of Thinkers]]] (live: 20s) [in a place like this, there can be no release] (live: 25s) [& yet there is] {(if: $inventoryofobjects contains "the pressed dandelion") [[[she bends down briefly|she bends down briefly]]] (else:) [(either: "[[she walks more quickly]]", "[[she hears a long low ringing]]", "[[she walks on]]")] } (set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "Fisher, Mark, 2017. The Weird and the Eerie. London: Repeater Books."))

(live: 2s)[& walking under the bridge] (live: 4s) [& trying to move through] (live: 7s) [& the air cutting up] (live: 9s) [&, //hello, who am I speaking to?//] (live: 11s) [&, //I'm just calling to ask you some questions.//] (live: 13s) [& the feeling of turning into machine] (live: 21s) [[& never fast enough!]] (live: 25s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)//] (set: $adrenaline to it +4)

<img src="dandelion1.gif" width="350" height="350"> (live: 6s) [the gentle flowers creep in] (live: 12s) [the dandelions encroaching] (live: 15s) [a dizziness breathes into her] (live: 18s) [to try and accept this glitch] (live: 22s) [to breathe] (live: 26s) [to attend to the flower] (live: 32s) [to wait] (live: 37s) [[[to walk on|she walks on]]]

(live: 8s) [& she has walked under this bridge so many times, often heading in the other direction] (live: 10s) [& often she is exhausted, it being post-shift, a day of sitting often worse than the walking] (live: 12s) [& the sound of roaring traffic not unlike the long wail of a call hung up] (live: 14s) [&, //hello, who am I speaking to?//] (live: 16s) [&, //I'm just calling to ask you some questions.//] (live: 18s) [& the feeling of turning into machine] (live: 21s) [[& come on, stop thinking, just walk!]]] (live: 25s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)//] {(set: $adrenaline to it +2)}

down the line, she could hear it; stranger's breaths, their interupted lives, her own new, tamed voice (live: 5s)[down the line, she had read somewhere that humans are becoming more like machines every day] (live: 10s) [sometimes it is true, like right now, she doesn't feel entirely human, but is she like a machine?] (live: 15s) [sometimes, she finds herself, falling into that customer service voice, one of many different voices that crawl down a line at different speeds: //hello, how can I help?//] (live: 20s) [sometimes, she is forced to ask questions she doesn't want to ask] (live: 25s) [sometimes, she wishes she could have kept down her last job at the bar but she had inexplicably kept fainting] (live: 30s) [sometimes, she wants to chat with people on the phone like she did behind the bar] (live: 35s) [sometimes, emotion translates back into information in a weird way, like an email or a message misconstrued] (live: 40s) [[[she turns left and crosses the road]]]

& that this motorway is the largest in Scotland (live: 3s) [& yes that it was built so slowly, from the 1965 to the 1980s, with some roads left open like the 'ski jump', cutting off to nowhere] (live: 6s) [& that it tore through the city, destroying several neighbourhoods in the process] (live: 9s) [//supposed [[‘socially undesirable’|Inventory of Thinkers]] areas of the city had to go and the development of transport infrastructure largely aligned with the wider goals of slum clearances of the period//] (live: 29s) [`(2024)`] (live: 12s) [& there's the no-man's land of this East area of the city, its separateness, a feeling of disarray] (live: 15s) [& her weird feelings about it because when she's walking here she loses a part of herself] (live: 18s) [& that this isn't always negative] (live: 21s) [& not wanting to stop walking, not having a direction or knowing where she is going, but the city swirls and it aches] (live: 24s) [& it aches in us] (live: 27s) [& [[[she turns left and crosses the road]]] {(set: $inventoryofthinkers to it + (a: "McKinnon, Logan, 2024. 'The Dividing Road: How the M8 Motorway Destroyed Glasgow’s Communities.' Retrospect Journal. Available at: <https://retrospectjournal.com/2024/11/17/the-dividing-road-how-the-m8-motorway-destroyed-glasgows-communities/>"))} {(set: $adrenaline to it +1) (set: $cortisol to it +1) (set: $dopamine to it -1)} (text-size: 0.8)+(live: 30s) [//Adrenaline:(print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//] (live: 32s)+ (text-style:"subscript","smear")[[[Inventory of Thinkers|Inventory of Thinkers]]]]

& once she saw a small procession in the dark along here, candles, several figures, one in a high vis shirt, stopping at times, to say some sort of prayer, not yet a speech but something else (live: 6s) [& that it was strange to see something like that, in this place where no one stops to look] (live: 9s) [but then again, now noticing, that people are indeed casting her some weird looks from cars] (live: 12s) [& remembering that she is wearing pyjamas in broad daylight] (live: 15s) [& then thinking, nah they're not looking at me, but looking just at the general surroundings, just looking, that's all] (live: 18s) [& remembering a podcast she listened to on this stretch of road and remembering the exact line that was said by someone to her in this exact location: //it's important to just do the difficult thing and not think too much about it//] (live: 21s) [& that there is a dull throbbing again] (live: 24s) [[[& that she has to stop at another set of lights]]]

(live: 3s) [she watches the world and feels as though she is watching herself] (live: 6s) [she watches the steps she knows she will take and time flickers] (live: 9s) [she feels as though she is being watched often] (live: 12s) [[[she presses the light]]] (live: 15s) [she feels as though she is not only being watched but also moved] (set: $dopamine to it -2) (set: $adrenaline to it +3) (set: $cortisol to it +2)

she imagines the opposite of on-hold muisc, not directed into any space deliberately (live: 3s) [the two of them joking about on-hold music that night at the flat after her first day, the horror of the tunes, a kind of specific //ambient horror//, the kind you experienced when waiting to negotiate a bill or find out if someone you knew was dying] (live: 6s) [the two of them, having to laugh, and it being the first time they had laughed in a while] (live: 9s) [the two of them finding out that the original concept of the on-hold music came about by accident, when radio wires in a factory were glitchfully placed into the telephone system by a loose wire grazing between the two] (live: 12s) [the two of them exclaiming that wasn't this a better concept than deliberately enacting something, that it was good //in that moment// but that any liveness had now been wholly manufactured] (live: 15s) [the two of them it is true had been manufacturing their own emotions for a while, this being a rare instance when the liveness had returned] (live: 18s) [//have you ever felt your life is on hold?//] (live: 21s) [[[she presses the light]]]

<audio src= "traffic-glasgow-eastend.m4a" autoplay> (live: 3s) [she could pretend often that the roar was more blurry, like her eyesight] (live: 6s) [she could pretend that all the city was one long extended sound that could filter inside her body] (live: 9s) [she could pretend that she was just floating and that others could see this floating and understood] (live: 12s) [she could pretend that the city was holding its breath like a sunrise] (live: 15s) [she could pretend and feel the [[orchestra and the dance of thoughts|on-hold music]]] (live: 18s) [[[she presses the light]]] (set: $dopamine to it +1)

(live: 2s) [& she's growing impatient] (live: 4s) [& time feels sparse like that] (live: 6s) [& she feels sparser in it] (live: 8s) [& she feels a strange wave] (set: $adrenaline to it +1) {(if: $adrenaline is >3) [ (live: 12s) [Adrenaline: (click-replace: "Adrenaline:") [Surge]: (print: $adrenaline)] (live: 14s) [Cortisol (click-replace: "Cortisol:") Tension]: (print: $cortisol)] (live: 16s) [Dopamine: (click-replace: "Dopamine:") [Pleasure]: (print: $dopamine)] (live: 2s) [she clutches the post and places her head against its coolness, the cold flows through her skin] (live: 3s) [she quickens but cannot move yet] (live: 5s) [she lowers herself down slowly on the tarmac] (live: 12s) [time passes there] (live: 16s) [[[this city aches in us|possible game end]]] (live: 20s) [[[yes, this city aches in us|hidden portal]] ] (else:) [ (live: 12s) [it will pass, she thinks, it has to pass, she thinks] (live: 16s) [the lights change] (live: 19s) [[[she crosses the road|across the bridge]]] ] }

[[unfinished]]

& suddenly the air quietens like the hush after an unavoidable statement (live: 3s) [& neves shiver on tarmac] (live: 6s) [& where did she hear that phrase which kept ringng in her head like a long and comforting hum?] (live: 15s) [& she has still not yet crossed the road!] (live: 18s) [[[oh dear!|on-press the light return]]|

(live: 4s) [oh yes, she's been humming] (live: 8s) [& it's unclear how long this has been going on for] (live: 12s) [three small notes collect around her like ribbons in the wind] (live: 15s) [[[& come on, stop thinking, just walk!|& come on, stop thinking, just walk!]]]

(live: 3s) [and the information highway continues and she accelerates with it] (live: 5s) [and the information highway continues and she accelerates with it] (live: 7s) [and the information highway continues and she accelerates with it] (live: 9s) [and the information highway continues and she accelerates with it] (live: 11s) [and the information highway continues and she accelerates with it] (live: 15s) [and here at the break, [[pressing onwards|& that she has to stop at another set of lights]]]

behind her, the police station marks the entry into the fragmented areas of the city, a strange announcment or piece of punctuation on the highway (live: 6s) [& here she travels away, back across the bridge she usually walks in the opposite direction] (live: 8s) [a strangely ghostly mirorring of a past self] (live: 10s) [& looking down at the cars passing, like a river, below] (live: 13s) [flowers clinging to the railing] (live: 17s) [both placed and growing] (live: 20s) [to be a flower] (live: 27s) [to feel like a (either: "[[floating|hidden portal]]", "[[moving figure|continue on bridge]]")]

{(if: $characterb is true)[ (live: 3s) [down below, the motorway has changed] (live: 7s) [& a ribbon extends along its tarmac, fluttering red in the wind] (live: 11s) [& she sees, upon closer inspection, that the ribbon is not simply on the road but it has taken //over// the road, and the cars ride up and down its ripples] (live: 14s) [an impossibly long red ribbon, like a memory from someone's childhood] (live: 17s) [//hello, can you hear me?//] (live: 19s) [a long low ringing, like an old fashioned phone carrying over the airwaves] (live: 22s) [a loud voice erupting wires, which traverse along the ribbons] (live: 27s) [a sound of the wail of something trying to connect, like centuries speaking to each other across an attempted shared airwave] (live: 32s) [meanwhile, dandelions on the roadside begin to grow] (live: 37s) [they are growing so quickly, like a time lapse, sped up as the cars slow down in the wispiness of the ribbons] (live: 40s) [the Glasgow housing dissapears and open fields border the ribbons] (live: 44s) [[[she floats off the bridge, captured by the ribbons]]] ]} (else:) [ (live: 3s) [down below, the motorway seems to have changed] (live: 7s) [& like an unstable sentence amidst the roar and melt of the city] (live: 11s) [the body [[falls softly to the ground| Figure B]]] ]

(live: 3s) [time passes swiftly but also slowly like a speeding car going around the same route again and again] (live: 7s) [the loop of many] (live: 11s) [it is difficult to wait like this] (live: 14s) [the sky is smiling down] (live: 17s) [it is uncler what action is next] (live: 21s) [somewhere, someone else presses gently down on another key, another light and pauses] (live: 24s) [somewhere, someone sits inside a flat and looks out a window at the gathering sunlight] (live: 29s) [others, move on, on route to work or coming back from nightshifts or falling into dreams or travelling] (live: 32s) [physically] (live: 35s) [or virtually] (live: 37s) [& here she is, not here, nor there, but in that elsewhere] (live: 42s) [suddenly back again to [[being Figure A|Connections from Figure A]]]

[[grow impatient]]

against the edges of the road, she also feels split away, a small figure on a zoomed out map (live: 3s) [the non-places of the post office vans, the manufacturing factories, the storage spaces, non-existant footnotes where you are not meant to go] (live: 6s) [& she feels curiously watched] (live: 9s) [& the sunlight bends against her body and skims off the tarmac] (live: 12s) [the low thrum of traffic like the silent hum of a hormone] (live: 15s) [like a pulse extending too far down a line] {(set: $adrenaline to it +3) (set: $cortisol to it +2) (set: $dopamine to it -1)} (text-size: 0.8)+(live: 20s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//]] (live: 23s) [[[where was she?]]]

(live: 3s) [texture is important, as pacing is important, as language ribbons itself and twirls through some kind of landscape] (live: 5s) [she feels a gentle push as though someone, //something// is willing her on] (live: 7s) [the ribbons hold her body, pulsing her out towards the fields] (live: 9s) [where are the cars?] (live: 12s) [the ribbon unwrapping, still unwrapping and fields ringing] (live: 15s) [a portal of Glasgow, like a portal into several parallells] (live: 18s) [like a ribboning embellishment of a series of paintings undertaken by Carol Rhodes in the 1990s in Glasgow, the end of one century, beckoning onto the next] (live: 20s) [time scatters and the [[ribbons still hold|Connections from Figure A]]]

where does the body go when it enters the in-between? (live: 3s) [between the centre of this city and its ribboning sideways,] (live: 6s) [between the pain and the neutral,] (live: 9s) [between the thrum and the thinking,] (live: 12s) [between the doubt and the confidence,] (live: 14s) [between a question and an answer,] (live: 18s) [[[she has lived here all her life]]]

yes, she has lived here all of her life (live: 3s) [in Glasgow] (live: 5s) [and in this in-between] (live: 7s) [she has walked this walk many times, perhaps over a 1000 times] (live: 8s) [well over the lifetime of several other creatures] (live: 10s) [past that tin can in the grass behind the railings] (live: 12s) [past that space in between the grass, right there, where she saw a rabbit once in the summer heat] (live: 15s) [& she has walked many times like this, at night, in day] (live: 18s) [& she wants to keep walking and never stopping [[like one long continuous sentence]] or a ribbon or a radio wave]

& the traffic keeps streaming (live: 4s) [& feeling nervous] (live: 6s) [& not so much a running away as a running towards] (live: 9s) [& down towards the car dealership, and past the stretch where she has cried and laughed and lingered] (live: 12s) [[[&]]]

the turn where against the built up student halls, and the cars stacked together (live: 5s) [like memories] (live: 8s) [calling B here, on the way back from work] (live: 10s) [aching a little but not so much yet] (live: 13s) [another self, attached still] (live: 15s) [& suddenly realising she is still wearing pyjamas and entering the city centre] (live: 18s) [& other figures emerging, like overlapping voices, slow entanglings] (live: 21s) [& a soft moth blows towards her in the wind] (live: 23s) [[[& down the hill]], the body is gently pushed] (live: 28s) [with the strange feeling the body is being watched //and// gently pushed]

{<audio src= "traffic.mp4" autoplay>} (live: 6s) [this city aches in us] (live: 8s) [& she cannot go any futher] (live: 10s) [& she watches the crowds begin to filter through, and [[she floats]]]

& she doesn't have a plan & she never did (live: 3s)[& time quickens & the body of the figure breaths] (live: 7s) [& a gentle ribbon extends out of her] (live: 11s)[& time warps] (live: 13s) [[[& the body falls]]]

(live: 1s) [The body falls gently, like a ribbon to the floor.] (live: 4s) [[[Who is watching her?| Figure B]]] (live: 8s) [[[Connections from Figure A|Connections from Figure A]]] {<div id="weatherlink5"></div> <script> $(document).ready(function(){ $("#weatherlink5").load("http://kirstydunlop.com/dfa/weather-5.php"); }); </script>}

{(if: $threestrings and $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappngs. [[Loading...|conclusion1]] ] (else-if: $threestrings and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, The Bliss of the Glitch and These Entangled Mappings [[Loading...|conclusion2]] ] (else-if: $egameplay and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: The Bliss of the Glitch, Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings. [[Loading...|conclusion3]] ] (else-if: $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings and you may be feeling ready for some kind of [[release?|blissentry]] ] (else-if: $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: The Bliss of the Glitch & These Entangled Mappings and it is now time to stride out into another [[physical arena.|threestrings]] ] (else-if: $threestrings is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal.|egameplay]]", "[[portal.|blissentry]]") ] (else-if: $entangled is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal.|egameplay]]", "[[portal.|blissentry]]", "[[portal.|threestrings]]") ] (else:) [An absent conclusion: You are unable to conclude and so you must choose to begin again. <a href="end" >Leave quickly!</a>] }

{(if: $threestrings and $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappngs. [[Loading...|conclusion1]] ] (else-if: $threestrings and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: Three Strings, The Bliss of the Glitch and These Entangled Mappings [[Loading...|conclusion2]] ] (else-if: $egameplay and $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through three portals: The Bliss of the Glitch, Emergent Gameplay,Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings. [[Loading...|conclusion3]] ] (else-if: $egameplay is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: Emeregent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying and These Entangled Mappings and you may be feeling ready for some kind of [[release?|blissentry]] ] (else-if: $blissglitch is true) [You have now travelled through two portals: The Bliss of the Glitch & These Entangled Mappings and it is now time to stride out into anoter [[physical arena|threestrings]] ] (else-if: $threestrings is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal.|egameplay]]", "[[portal.|blissentry]]") ] (else-if: $entangled is true) [Perhaps is time to travel through another (either: "[[portal.|egameplay]]", "[[portal.|blissentry]]", "[[portal.|threestrings]]") ] (else:) [An absent conclusion: You are unable to conclude and so you must choose to begin again. <a href="end" >Leave quickly!</a>] }

''A CONCLUSION'' A string tightened, only gently, until emergence can gather through these vibrations. A slow curving and changing essaying, body-river in flow. I see it: these ripples as Ted Nelson once described as a dream of hypertext, and here, now, the emergent carries itself into its various patterns; the ripples begin to beat together in a rhythm, slow, steady, rising. Imagine an essaying like a ripple changing shape to bubble, to froth on this river. Are you there? {(if: $characterb is true) [Yes, you are; somewhere in a room in the East End of Glasgow: perhaps you have managed to leave. At one point you were certainly all entangled in a map of those four walls, and the map kept changing from live to static, static to live.] (if: $characterc is true) [And there's a moth, darting around, forever flying around a light and was it a light inside or was the it light of the river or was it that strange blinking light of the machine] (if: $charactera is true) [She's forever walking and always already falling, a body fragile and set against a charging landscape, an overload, still overloading. Are you watching her?]} Where does a thought begin to discover itself, is it on a curve or a narrow unsettling? I once appeared as a speaking voice, as the text and somewhere around a bend of flight, river, {(if: $characterb is true) [Carol Rhodes painting]}, I disappeared. Yet here, I emerge again. A slow and shifting texture. Then the water waits. Elsewhere, Ada dreams of a machine. There is an alternative narrative, where another 'I' speak and genres almost overlap, always just missing each other. Meanwhile you are: {(if: $adrenaline is >5) [highly strung, adrenaline beating, surging swiftly] (else:) [softly strung, adrenaline waiting, a slow surge]}. Is this true? Non-machine. Breathing, writing, listening, wandering, waiting, still living in the world somewhere. The mapping is also still entangled. (text-style:"subscript","smear") + (text-size: 1)[Inventory of Thinkers] You have collected: \ (if: $inventoryofthinkers's length is 0)[\ a shimmering knowledge that feels itself quicken. ](else:)[\ \ (for: each _item, ...$inventoryofthinkers)[\ _item (unless: $inventoryofthinkers's last is _item)[,]\ ] ] You have travelled through: Three Strings, Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying, finishing on These Entangled Mappings. Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline) Cortisol: (print: $cortisol) Dopamine: (print: $dopamine) [<a href="end" >Exit Essaying</a>]

''A CONCLUSION'' A string tightened, only gently, until emergence can gather through these vibrations. A slow blissing, body-river in flow. The extended time of the computer garden, the moth flight, the tired soul, the moving body. Are you there? {(if: $characterb is true) [Yes, you are; somewhere in a room in the East End of Glasgow: perhaps you have managed to leave. At one point you were certainly all entangled in a map of those four walls, and the map kept changing from live to static, static to live.] (if: $characterc is true) [And there's yes, the moth, darting around, forever flying around a light and was it a light inside or was the it light of the river or was it that strange blinking light of the machine] (if: $charactera is true) [She's forever walking and always already falling, a body fragile and set against a charging landscape, an overload, still overloading. Are you watching her?]} Where does a thought begin to discover itself, is it on a curve or a narrow unsettling?The voice of flight, river, {(if: $characterb is true) [ a Carol Rhodes painting]}. A slow and shifting texture. Then the water waits. Elsewhere, there is glitching, cheating, an inventory of emotions waiting. There is an alternative narrative, where another 'I' speak and genres almost overlap, always just missing each other. Meanwhile you are: {(if: $adrenaline is >5) [highly strung, adrenaline beating, surging swiftly] (else:) [softly strung, adrenaline waiting, a slow surge]}. Is this true? Non-machine. Breathing, writing, listening, wandering, waiting, still living in the world somewhere. The mapping is also still entangled. (text-style:"subscript","smear") + (text-size: 1)[Inventory of Thinkers] You have collected: \ (if: $inventoryofthinkers's length is 0)[\ a shimmering knowledge that feels itself quicken. ](else:)[\ \ (for: each _item, ...$inventoryofthinkers)[\ _item (unless: $inventoryofthinkers's last is _item)[,]\ ] ] You have travelled through: Three Strings, The Bliss of the Glitch, finishing on These Entangled Mappings. Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline) Cortisol: (print: $cortisol) Dopamine: (print: $dopamine) [<a href="end" >Exit Essaying</a>]

''A CONCLUSION'' An emergng bliss, a travelling map. {(if: $characterb is true) [The entrapment of a flat, fading memories, the fluttering stim, the connecting lines in a painting, the dream of a game.] (if: $characterc is true) [The moth, darting around, forever flying around a light, flying through idesa, rebugging the map] (if: $charactera is true) [She's forever walking and always already falling, a body fragile and set against a charging landscape, an overload, still overloading. Are you watching her?]} Where does a thought begin to discover itself, is it through attention, shifting questions, the refrains of others?The voice of mania, small holdings, {(if: $characterb is true) [ a Carol Rhodes painting]}. A slow and shifting texture. Then the map waits. Elsewhere, there is a river and strings plucked from technology, an instrument, emotion, almost wound up too high. There is an alternative narrative, where another 'I' speak and genres almost overlap, always just missing each other. Meanwhile you are: {(if: $adrenaline is >5) [highly strung, adrenaline beating, surging swiftly] (else:) [softly strung, adrenaline waiting, a slow surge]}. Is this true? Non-machine. Breathing, writing, listening, wandering, waiting, still living in the world somewhere. The mapping is also still entangled. (text-style:"subscript","smear") + (text-size: 1)[Inventory of Thinkers] You have collected: \ (if: $inventoryofthinkers's length is 0)[\ a shimmering knowledge that feels itself quicken. ](else:)[\ \ (for: each _item, ...$inventoryofthinkers)[\ _item (unless: $inventoryofthinkers's last is _item)[,]\ ] ] You have travelled through: Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying, The Bliss of the Glitch, finishing on These Entangled Mappings. Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline) Cortisol: (print: $cortisol) Dopamine: (print: $dopamine) [<a href="end" >Exit Essaying</a>]

{ (set: $adrenaline to (str:$adrenaline)) (set: $dopamine to (str:$dopamine)) (set: $cortisol to (str: $cortisol)) (set: _varList to "") (set: _varList to it + "&a=" + $adrenaline + "&b=" + $dopamine + "&c=" + $cortisol) (set: _varList to _varList + "&i=bib") (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Barthes, Roland, 1977. ‘Death of the Author’. Image-Music-Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Hill and Wang.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rb2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carpenter, J. R., 2019. The Pleasure of the Coast. Online. Available at: <http://luckysoap.com/pleasurecoast/en/index.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carson, Anne, 2000. Plainwater. New York: Vintage Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ac")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carson, Anne, 2014. Eros: The Bittersweet: An Essay. Princeton: Princeton University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ac2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Consalvo, Mia, 2009. Cheating: Gaining Advantage in Video Games. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Coover, Robert, 1992. ‘The End of Books’, The New York Times. Available at: <https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/98/09/27/specials/coover-end.html?pagewanted=all>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Davis, Lydia, 2019. Essays. Hamish Hamilton. e-book.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ld")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Derrida, Jacques, 1994. Specters of Marx: the State of the Debt, the Work of Mourning and the New International.trans. Peggy Kamuf. London: Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "DuPlessis, Rachel Blau, 2006. Blue Studios. The University of Alabama Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rbd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Emergent Gameplay', 2017. Technopedia. by Margaret Rouse. Available at: <https://www.techopedia.com/definition/27043/emergent-gameplay/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",eg")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Halberstam, Jack, 2011. The Queer Art of Failure. Durham, US: Duke University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hay, Jonathan, 2020. 'Fully Optimized: The (Post)human Art of Speedrunning'. Journal of Posthuman Studies, Vol. 4, No.1. The Pennsylvania State University. pp. 5-24. <https://doi.org/10.5325/jpoststud 4.10005.>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jh2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Horowitz, Steve, Looney, Scott, 2014. The Essential Guide to Game Audio: The Theory and Practice of Sound for Games. Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",shsl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Jackson, Shelley, 1997. 'my body - a Wunderkammer'. Electronic Literature Collection, Volume One, October 2006. Online. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/1/works/jackson__my_body_a_wunderkammer.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",sj")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Jayemanne, Darshana, 2019. 'Chronotypology: A Comparative Method for Analyzing Game Time.' Games and Culture, 15(7). pp. 809-824. <https://doi.org/10.1177/1555412019845593>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",dj")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Meades, Alan, 2013. 'Why We Glitch: Process, Meaning and Pleasure in the discovery and documentation, sharing and use of videogame exploits.' Well Played: a journal on video games, value and meaning. pp. 79-98. ETC Press. <https://doi.org/10.1184/R1/6687068.v1>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",am")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Menkman, Rosa, 2011. 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New York: Dover Pubications.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",gs")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stewart, Kathleen, 2007. Ordinary Affects. Durham, US: Duke University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ks")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hejinian, Lyn, and Leslie Scalapino, 2021. Hearing. Litmus Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",lh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Mansfield, Katherine, 1920:1988. Bliss. Auckland, New Zealand: Vintage.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",km")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy. University of Chicago Press, pp. 27–54.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ps")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Zambra, Alejandro, 2015. My Documents. trans. Megan McDowell. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",az")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "de Montaigne, Michel. 1572: 1993. Montaigne: The Essays. Trans. M.A. Screech. London: Penguin Classics.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mm")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Barthes, Roland, 1975. The Pleasure of the Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rb")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Wark, Mckenzie, 2007. Gamer Theory. London: Harvard University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Wang, Jackie and Christopher Soto, 2023. 'Will AI replace writers — and the rest of us? An L.A. scholar-poet games out the future'. Los Angeles Times. Online. Available at: <https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/books/story/2023-08-23/will-ai-replace-writers-christopher-soto-jackie-wang-game-out-the-future/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Al Maria, Sophia, 2019. Sad Sack. London: Bookworks.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",sa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dinnen, Zara, 2021. The Digital Banal: New Media and American Literature and Culture (Literature Now). Columbia University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",zd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Berlant, Lauren, 2016. 'The commons: Infrastructures for troubling times*'. Environment and Planning D: Society and Space, Vol. 34, No. 3, pp. 393-419. <https://doi.org/10.1177/0263775816645989/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",lb")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Artist, American, 2018. ‘Black Gooey Universe’, Unbag. Available at: <https://unbag.net/end/black-gooey-universe>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",aa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stein, Gertrude, 2012, 1914. Tender Buttons. New York: Dover Publications.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",gs2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Kaku, Michio, 2014. 'I am Dr. Michio Kaku, co-founder of string field theory and bestselling author of The Future of the Mind.' Reddit. Available at: <https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1ztgy9/im_dr_michio_kaku_a_physicist_co_founder_of/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mk")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Pythagorus (attrib.) Louise B. Young (ed.), 1965. The Mystery of Matter. Oxford: Oxford University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",p")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Notley, Alice, 2005. 'The Main Offense'. Jacket Magazine. Available at: <http://jacketmagazine.com/27/notl.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",an")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 1833.. 'Montaigne; or, the Skeptic'. Available at: <https://emersoncentral.com/texts/representative-men/montaigne-the-skeptic/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rwe")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Virilio, Paul, 1997. Open Sky. trans. by Julie Rose. London: Verso Book.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",pv")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Weil, Simone, 2004, 1955. Oppression and Liberty. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. London: Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",sw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "De Landa, Manuel, 1992. War in the Age of Intelligent Machines. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Zone Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",md")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "'Moths'. Butterfly Conservation. Available at: <https://butterfly-conservation.org/moths>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",m")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Fisher, Mark, 2017. The Weird and the Eerie. London: Repeater Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mf")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "McKinnon, Logan, 2024. 'The Dividing Road: How the M8 Motorway Destroyed Glasgow’s Communities.' Retrospect Journal. Available at: <https://retrospectjournal.com/2024/11/17/the-dividing-road-how-the-m8-motorway-destroyed-glasgows-communities/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",m8")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Woolf, Virgina, 1942. The Death of the Moth and Other Essays. New York: Harcourt.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",vw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Oliver, Mary, 1984. 'The Moths'.Poetry Foundation. Available at: <https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?volume=143&issue=4&page=31>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mo2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Heti, Sheila, 2024. Alphabetical Diaries. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",sh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Quin, Ann, 1964: 2019. Berg. Sheffield: And Other Stories.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",aq")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lispector, Clarice, 1964: 2012. The Passion According to G.H. . trans. by Idra Novey. New York: New Directions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",cl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hopper, Grace, 1949: 2018. 'Grace under pressure.' National Museum of American History. by. Peggy A. Kidwell, Amelia Grabowski. Available at: <https://americanhistory.si.edu/explore/stories/grace-under-pressure>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",gs")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lafarge, Daisy, 2023. Lovebug. London: Peninsula Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",dl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "'bliss', noun., 2023.'OED Online. Available at: <https://www.oed.com/dictionary/bliss_n?tab=factsheet>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",b")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Soerzputowski, Kate, 2015. 'Faig Ahmed Creates Glitched-Out Contemporary Rugs from Traditional Azerbaijani Textiles. Colossal. <https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2015/11/faig-ahmed-glitched-rugs/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",fa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dillon, Brian, 2023. 'On opening yourself to distraction: From a conversation with Maddie Crum.' The Creative Independent. Online. <https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/writer-brian-dillon-on-opening-yourself-to-distraction/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",bd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dillon, Brian, 2023. Affinities. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",bd2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lovelace, Ada, 1843: 2017. 'Ada Lovelace: Weaving Algebraic Patterns Like Looms Weave Flowers and Leaves'. The Good Times . Available at: <https://www.the-good-times.org/people-2/ada-lovelace-weaving-algebraic-patterns-like-looms-weave-flowers-and-leaves/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",al")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. 'Corpsing: On Sex, Death, and Inappropriate Laughter'. The Paris Review. Available at: <https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2022/06/16/corpsing-on-sex-death-and-spontaneous-laughter/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",na")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy Chicago: University of Chicago Press. pp. 27–54.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",ps")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Chun, Wendy Hui Kyong, 2017. Updating to Remain the Same: Habitual New Media Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",wc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Tanner, Grafton, 2020. The Cirlcle of the Snake: Nostalgia and Utopia in the Age of Big Tech. London: Zero Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",gc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Olson, Marisa 2008. ‘Postinternet: Art After the Internet’. Foam Magazine, Vol. 29. pp. 59-63.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mo")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stein, Gertrude, 1925: 1995. The Making of Americans: Being a History of a Family’s Progress. London: Dalkey Archive Press.")[(set: _varList to _varList +",gs3")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Robinson, Sophie, 2018. 'art in america'. BOMB Magazine. Available at: <https://bombmagazine.org/articles/2018/03/06/sophie-robinson-poem/>") [(set: _varList to _varList +",sr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Waber, Dan, 2010. 'a kiss (for Jennifer)''. Electronic Literature Organisation. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/4/works/a-kiss/a-kiss.html>") [(set: _varList to _varList +",dw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. Animal Joy. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.") [(set: _varList to _varList +",na1")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2017. Fourth Person Singular. Liverpool: Pavilion Poetry.") [(set: _varList to _varList +",na2")] (set: _tList to "&t=j") (set: _varList to _varList + _tList) (if: $charactera is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",a")] (if: $characterb is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",b")] (if: $characterc is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",c")] (if: $egameplay is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",d")] (if: $threestrings is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",e")] (if: $blissglitch is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",f")] (if: $glitchful is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",g")] (if: $entangled is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",h")] (if: $beginning is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",i")] (if: $unthought is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",j")] (if: $noise is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",k")] (if: $memory is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",l")] (if: $rupture is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",m")] (if: $glitch is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",n")] (if: $centre is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",o")] (if: $ongoingness is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",p")] (if: $saturation is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",q")] (if: $riddle is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",r")] (set: $url to "theblissoftheglitch?" + _varList) } (print: '<a href="'+ $url + '">The Bliss of the Glitch </a>')

{ (set: $adrenaline to (str:$adrenaline)) (set: $dopamine to (str:$dopamine)) (set: $cortisol to (str: $cortisol)) (set: _varList to "") (set: _varList to it + "&a=" + $adrenaline + "&b=" + $dopamine + "&c=" + $cortisol) (set: _varList to _varList + "&i=bib") (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Barthes, Roland, 1977. ‘Death of the Author’. Image-Music-Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Hill and Wang.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rb2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carpenter, J. R., 2019. The Pleasure of the Coast. Online. Available at: <http://luckysoap.com/pleasurecoast/en/index.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carson, Anne, 2000. Plainwater. New York: Vintage Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ac")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carson, Anne, 2014. Eros: The Bittersweet: An Essay. Princeton: Princeton University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ac2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Consalvo, Mia, 2009. Cheating: Gaining Advantage in Video Games. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Coover, Robert, 1992. ‘The End of Books’, The New York Times. Available at: <https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/98/09/27/specials/coover-end.html?pagewanted=all>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Davis, Lydia, 2019. Essays. Hamish Hamilton. e-book.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ld")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Derrida, Jacques, 1994. Specters of Marx: the State of the Debt, the Work of Mourning and the New International.trans. Peggy Kamuf. London: Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "DuPlessis, Rachel Blau, 2006. Blue Studios. The University of Alabama Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rbd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Emergent Gameplay', 2017. Technopedia. by Margaret Rouse. Available at: <https://www.techopedia.com/definition/27043/emergent-gameplay/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",eg")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Halberstam, Jack, 2011. The Queer Art of Failure. Durham, US: Duke University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hay, Jonathan, 2020. 'Fully Optimized: The (Post)human Art of Speedrunning'. Journal of Posthuman Studies, Vol. 4, No.1. The Pennsylvania State University. pp. 5-24. <https://doi.org/10.5325/jpoststud 4.10005.>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jh2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Horowitz, Steve, Looney, Scott, 2014. The Essential Guide to Game Audio: The Theory and Practice of Sound for Games. 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New York: Dover Pubications.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",gs")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stewart, Kathleen, 2007. Ordinary Affects. Durham, US: Duke University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ks")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hejinian, Lyn, and Leslie Scalapino, 2021. Hearing. Litmus Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",lh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Mansfield, Katherine, 1920:1988. Bliss. Auckland, New Zealand: Vintage.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",km")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy. University of Chicago Press, pp. 27–54.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ps")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Zambra, Alejandro, 2015. My Documents. trans. Megan McDowell. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",az")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "de Montaigne, Michel. 1572: 1993. Montaigne: The Essays. Trans. M.A. Screech. London: Penguin Classics.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mm")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Barthes, Roland, 1975. The Pleasure of the Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rb")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Wark, Mckenzie, 2007. Gamer Theory. London: Harvard University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Wang, Jackie and Christopher Soto, 2023. 'Will AI replace writers — and the rest of us? An L.A. scholar-poet games out the future'. Los Angeles Times. Online. Available at: <https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/books/story/2023-08-23/will-ai-replace-writers-christopher-soto-jackie-wang-game-out-the-future/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Al Maria, Sophia, 2019. Sad Sack. London: Bookworks.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",sa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dinnen, Zara, 2021. The Digital Banal: New Media and American Literature and Culture (Literature Now). Columbia University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",zd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Berlant, Lauren, 2016. 'The commons: Infrastructures for troubling times*'. Environment and Planning D: Society and Space, Vol. 34, No. 3, pp. 393-419. <https://doi.org/10.1177/0263775816645989/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",lb")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Artist, American, 2018. ‘Black Gooey Universe’, Unbag. Available at: <https://unbag.net/end/black-gooey-universe>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",aa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stein, Gertrude, 2012, 1914. Tender Buttons. New York: Dover Publications.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",gs2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Kaku, Michio, 2014. 'I am Dr. Michio Kaku, co-founder of string field theory and bestselling author of The Future of the Mind.' Reddit. Available at: <https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1ztgy9/im_dr_michio_kaku_a_physicist_co_founder_of/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mk")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Pythagorus (attrib.) Louise B. Young (ed.), 1965. The Mystery of Matter. Oxford: Oxford University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",p")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Notley, Alice, 2005. 'The Main Offense'. Jacket Magazine. Available at: <http://jacketmagazine.com/27/notl.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",an")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 1833.. 'Montaigne; or, the Skeptic'. Available at: <https://emersoncentral.com/texts/representative-men/montaigne-the-skeptic/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rwe")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Virilio, Paul, 1997. Open Sky. trans. by Julie Rose. London: Verso Book.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",pv")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Weil, Simone, 2004, 1955. Oppression and Liberty. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. London: Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",sw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "De Landa, Manuel, 1992. War in the Age of Intelligent Machines. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Zone Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",md")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "'Moths'. Butterfly Conservation. Available at: <https://butterfly-conservation.org/moths>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",m")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Fisher, Mark, 2017. The Weird and the Eerie. London: Repeater Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mf")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "McKinnon, Logan, 2024. 'The Dividing Road: How the M8 Motorway Destroyed Glasgow’s Communities.' Retrospect Journal. Available at: <https://retrospectjournal.com/2024/11/17/the-dividing-road-how-the-m8-motorway-destroyed-glasgows-communities/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",m8")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Woolf, Virgina, 1942. The Death of the Moth and Other Essays. New York: Harcourt.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",vw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Oliver, Mary, 1984. 'The Moths'.Poetry Foundation. Available at: <https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?volume=143&issue=4&page=31>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mo2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Heti, Sheila, 2024. Alphabetical Diaries. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",sh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Quin, Ann, 1964: 2019. Berg. Sheffield: And Other Stories.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",aq")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lispector, Clarice, 1964: 2012. The Passion According to G.H. . trans. by Idra Novey. New York: New Directions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",cl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hopper, Grace, 1949: 2018. 'Grace under pressure.' National Museum of American History. by. Peggy A. Kidwell, Amelia Grabowski. Available at: <https://americanhistory.si.edu/explore/stories/grace-under-pressure>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",gs")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lafarge, Daisy, 2023. Lovebug. London: Peninsula Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",dl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "'bliss', noun., 2023.'OED Online. Available at: <https://www.oed.com/dictionary/bliss_n?tab=factsheet>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",b")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Soerzputowski, Kate, 2015. 'Faig Ahmed Creates Glitched-Out Contemporary Rugs from Traditional Azerbaijani Textiles. Colossal. <https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2015/11/faig-ahmed-glitched-rugs/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",fa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dillon, Brian, 2023. 'On opening yourself to distraction: From a conversation with Maddie Crum.' The Creative Independent. Online. <https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/writer-brian-dillon-on-opening-yourself-to-distraction/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",bd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dillon, Brian, 2023. Affinities. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",bd2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lovelace, Ada, 1843: 2017. 'Ada Lovelace: Weaving Algebraic Patterns Like Looms Weave Flowers and Leaves'. The Good Times . Available at: <https://www.the-good-times.org/people-2/ada-lovelace-weaving-algebraic-patterns-like-looms-weave-flowers-and-leaves/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",al")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. 'Corpsing: On Sex, Death, and Inappropriate Laughter'. The Paris Review. Available at: <https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2022/06/16/corpsing-on-sex-death-and-spontaneous-laughter/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",na")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy Chicago: University of Chicago Press. pp. 27–54.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",ps")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Chun, Wendy Hui Kyong, 2017. Updating to Remain the Same: Habitual New Media Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",wc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Tanner, Grafton, 2020. The Cirlcle of the Snake: Nostalgia and Utopia in the Age of Big Tech. London: Zero Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",gc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Olson, Marisa 2008. ‘Postinternet: Art After the Internet’. Foam Magazine, Vol. 29. pp. 59-63.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mo")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stein, Gertrude, 1925: 1995. The Making of Americans: Being a History of a Family’s Progress. London: Dalkey Archive Press.")[(set: _varList to _varList +",gs3")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Robinson, Sophie, 2018. 'art in america'. BOMB Magazine. Available at: <https://bombmagazine.org/articles/2018/03/06/sophie-robinson-poem/>") [(set: _varList to _varList +",sr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Waber, Dan, 2010. 'a kiss (for Jennifer)''. Electronic Literature Organisation. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/4/works/a-kiss/a-kiss.html>") [(set: _varList to _varList +",dw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. Animal Joy. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.") [(set: _varList to _varList +",na1")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2017. Fourth Person Singular. Liverpool: Pavilion Poetry.") [(set: _varList to _varList +",na2")] (set: _tList to "&t=j") (set: _varList to _varList + _tList) (if: $charactera is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",a")] (if: $characterb is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",b")] (if: $characterc is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",c")] (if: $egameplay is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",d")] (if: $threestrings is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",e")] (if: $blissglitch is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",f")] (if: $glitchful is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",g")] (if: $entangled is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",h")] (if: $beginning is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",i")] (if: $unthought is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",j")] (if: $noise is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",k")] (if: $memory is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",l")] (if: $rupture is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",m")] (if: $glitch is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",n")] (if: $centre is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",o")] (if: $ongoingness is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",p")] (if: $saturation is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",q")] (if: $riddle is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",r")] (set: $url to "three-strings?" + _varList) } (print: '<a href="'+ $url + '">Three Strings</a>')

{ (set: $adrenaline to (str:$adrenaline)) (set: $dopamine to (str:$dopamine)) (set: $cortisol to (str: $cortisol)) (set: _varList to "") (set: _varList to it + "&a=" + $adrenaline + "&b=" + $dopamine + "&c=" + $cortisol) (set: _varList to _varList + "&i=bib") (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Barthes, Roland, 1977. ‘Death of the Author’. Image-Music-Text. trans. by Richard Miller. New York: Hill and Wang.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rb2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carpenter, J. R., 2019. The Pleasure of the Coast. Online. Available at: <http://luckysoap.com/pleasurecoast/en/index.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carson, Anne, 2000. Plainwater. New York: Vintage Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ac")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Carson, Anne, 2014. Eros: The Bittersweet: An Essay. Princeton: Princeton University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ac2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Consalvo, Mia, 2009. Cheating: Gaining Advantage in Video Games. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",mc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Coover, Robert, 1992. ‘The End of Books’, The New York Times. Available at: <https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/98/09/27/specials/coover-end.html?pagewanted=all>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Davis, Lydia, 2019. Essays. Hamish Hamilton. e-book.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",ld")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Derrida, Jacques, 1994. Specters of Marx: the State of the Debt, the Work of Mourning and the New International.trans. Peggy Kamuf. London: Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "DuPlessis, Rachel Blau, 2006. Blue Studios. The University of Alabama Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rbd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Emergent Gameplay', 2017. Technopedia. by Margaret Rouse. Available at: <https://www.techopedia.com/definition/27043/emergent-gameplay/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",eg")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Halberstam, Jack, 2011. The Queer Art of Failure. Durham, US: Duke University Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hay, Jonathan, 2020. 'Fully Optimized: The (Post)human Art of Speedrunning'. Journal of Posthuman Studies, Vol. 4, No.1. The Pennsylvania State University. pp. 5-24. <https://doi.org/10.5325/jpoststud 4.10005.>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",jh2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Horowitz, Steve, Looney, Scott, 2014. The Essential Guide to Game Audio: The Theory and Practice of Sound for Games. Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",shsl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Jackson, Shelley, 1997. 'my body - a Wunderkammer'. Electronic Literature Collection, Volume One, October 2006. Online. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/1/works/jackson__my_body_a_wunderkammer.html>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",sj")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Jayemanne, Darshana, 2019. 'Chronotypology: A Comparative Method for Analyzing Game Time.' Games and Culture, 15(7). pp. 809-824. <https://doi.org/10.1177/1555412019845593>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",dj")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Meades, Alan, 2013. 'Why We Glitch: Process, Meaning and Pleasure in the discovery and documentation, sharing and use of videogame exploits.' Well Played: a journal on video games, value and meaning. pp. 79-98. ETC Press. <https://doi.org/10.1184/R1/6687068.v1>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",am")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Menkman, Rosa, 2011. 'The Glitch Moment(um)'. Institute of Network Cultures. Available at: <https://networkcultures.org/_uploadsNN%234_RosaMenkman.pdf>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rm")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Montfort, Nick, 2005. Twisty Little Passages: An Approach to Interactive Fiction. Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",nm")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Myers, Rhea, 2014. glitcherature. Online. Available at: <https://rhea.art/glitcherature/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rm2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Myles, Eileen, 2017. 'Eileen Myles Interview:A Poem Says 'I Want''. Louisiana Channel. Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCnKGl2YDto>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",em")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Parker, Dorothy. I hate writing. I love having written', is now such a common quotation that the origin of when she said it is unclear, a quotation that has been passed around so easily, whether it was actually written like that by her is uncertain.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",dp")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Quinn, Zoe, Patrick Lindsey, Isaac Schankler, 2013. Depression Quest. Online. Available at: <http://www.depressionquest.com/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",zq")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Robertson, Lisa, 2012. 'Time in the Codex'. Nilling: Prose Essays on Noise, Pornography, The Codex, Melancholy, Lucretius, Folds, Cities and Related Aporias. 2nd edition. Toronto: Book*hug Press. pp. 9-18.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",lr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Russell, Legacy, 2020. Glitch Feminism: A Manifesto. Verso Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",lr2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Sampat, Elizabeth, 2017. Am I Part of The Problem</em. Online. Available at: <https://elizabethsampat.itch.io/am-i-part-of-the-problem/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",es")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Sampat, Elizabeth, 2017. Empathy Engines: Design Games that are Personal, Political and Profound. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",es2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Scully-Blaker, Rainforest, 2014. 'A Practiced Practice: Speedrunning Through Space with de Certeau and Virilio'. Game Studies: the international journal of computer game research, volume 14 issue 1, August 2014. Available at: <https://gamestudies.org/1401/articles/scullyblaker/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",rsb")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Self, Will, interviewed by Alan Clark, 2018. 'Will Self: ‘The novel is absolutely doomed’. The Guardian. 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Oppression and Liberty. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. London: Routledge.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",sw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "De Landa, Manuel, 1992. War in the Age of Intelligent Machines. trans. by Arthur Wills, John Petrie. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Zone Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",md")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "'Moths'. Butterfly Conservation. Available at: <https://butterfly-conservation.org/moths>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",m")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Fisher, Mark, 2017. The Weird and the Eerie. London: Repeater Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mf")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "McKinnon, Logan, 2024. 'The Dividing Road: How the M8 Motorway Destroyed Glasgow’s Communities.' Retrospect Journal. Available at: <https://retrospectjournal.com/2024/11/17/the-dividing-road-how-the-m8-motorway-destroyed-glasgows-communities/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",m8")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Woolf, Virgina, 1942. The Death of the Moth and Other Essays. New York: Harcourt.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",vw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Oliver, Mary, 1984. 'The Moths'.Poetry Foundation. Available at: <https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?volume=143&issue=4&page=31>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mo2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Heti, Sheila, 2024. Alphabetical Diaries. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",sh")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Quin, Ann, 1964: 2019. Berg. Sheffield: And Other Stories.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",aq")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lispector, Clarice, 1964: 2012. The Passion According to G.H. . trans. by Idra Novey. New York: New Directions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",cl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Hopper, Grace, 1949: 2018. 'Grace under pressure.' National Museum of American History. by. Peggy A. Kidwell, Amelia Grabowski. Available at: <https://americanhistory.si.edu/explore/stories/grace-under-pressure>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",gs")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lafarge, Daisy, 2023. Lovebug. London: Peninsula Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",dl")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "'bliss', noun., 2023.'OED Online. Available at: <https://www.oed.com/dictionary/bliss_n?tab=factsheet>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",b")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Soerzputowski, Kate, 2015. 'Faig Ahmed Creates Glitched-Out Contemporary Rugs from Traditional Azerbaijani Textiles. Colossal. <https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2015/11/faig-ahmed-glitched-rugs/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",fa")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dillon, Brian, 2023. 'On opening yourself to distraction: From a conversation with Maddie Crum.' The Creative Independent. Online. <https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/writer-brian-dillon-on-opening-yourself-to-distraction/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",bd")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Dillon, Brian, 2023. Affinities. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",bd2")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Lovelace, Ada, 1843: 2017. 'Ada Lovelace: Weaving Algebraic Patterns Like Looms Weave Flowers and Leaves'. The Good Times . Available at: <https://www.the-good-times.org/people-2/ada-lovelace-weaving-algebraic-patterns-like-looms-weave-flowers-and-leaves/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",al")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. 'Corpsing: On Sex, Death, and Inappropriate Laughter'. The Paris Review. Available at: <https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2022/06/16/corpsing-on-sex-death-and-spontaneous-laughter/>")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",na")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Spacks, Patricia Meyer, 2003. ‘Privacies of Reading’. Privacy Chicago: University of Chicago Press. pp. 27–54.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",ps")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Chun, Wendy Hui Kyong, 2017. Updating to Remain the Same: Habitual New Media Cambridge, Massachusetts: MIT Press.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",wc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Tanner, Grafton, 2020. The Cirlcle of the Snake: Nostalgia and Utopia in the Age of Big Tech. London: Zero Books.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",gc")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Olson, Marisa 2008. ‘Postinternet: Art After the Internet’. Foam Magazine, Vol. 29. pp. 59-63.")[ (set: _varList to _varList +",mo")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Stein, Gertrude, 1925: 1995. The Making of Americans: Being a History of a Family’s Progress. London: Dalkey Archive Press.")[(set: _varList to _varList +",gs3")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Robinson, Sophie, 2018. 'art in america'. BOMB Magazine. Available at: <https://bombmagazine.org/articles/2018/03/06/sophie-robinson-poem/>") [(set: _varList to _varList +",sr")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Waber, Dan, 2010. 'a kiss (for Jennifer)''. Electronic Literature Organisation. Available at: <https://collection.eliterature.org/4/works/a-kiss/a-kiss.html>") [(set: _varList to _varList +",dw")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2022. Animal Joy. London: Fitzcarraldo Editions.") [(set: _varList to _varList +",na1")] (if: $inventoryofthinkers contains "Alsadir, Nuar, 2017. Fourth Person Singular. Liverpool: Pavilion Poetry.") [(set: _varList to _varList +",na2")] (set: _tList to "&t=j") (set: _varList to _varList + _tList) (if: $charactera is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",a")] (if: $characterb is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",b")] (if: $characterc is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",c")] (if: $egameplay is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",d")] (if: $threestrings is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",e")] (if: $blissglitch is true)[ (set: _varList to _varList + ",f")] (if: $glitchful is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",g")] (if: $entangled is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",h")] (if: $beginning is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",i")] (if: $unthought is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",j")] (if: $noise is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",k")] (if: $memory is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",l")] (if: $rupture is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",m")] (if: $glitch is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",n")] (if: $centre is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",o")] (if: $ongoingness is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",p")] (if: $saturation is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",q")] (if: $riddle is true) [ (set: _varList to _varList + ",r")] (set: $url to "emergentessayingemergentgameplay?" + _varList) } (print: '<a href="'+ $url + '">Emergent Gameplay, Emergent Essaying</a>')

{<div id="weatherlink4"></div> <script> $(document).ready(function(){ $("#weatherlink4").load("http://kirstydunlop.com/dfa/weather-4.php"); }); </script>} (live: 10s) [& she remembers a [[jolt|kind of portal to other kinds of pain]]]

& figure A feels exposed, from a great height & the truth is, that this figure is quite shocked and confused to finds herself leaving this large grey building, and if we must be more specific about setting and environment, which she is trying to keep remembering as she so often wants to forget her immediate surroundings, this large grey building is indeed a //hospital// & she is waiting at the lights, waiting to cross (live: 6s) [& she is blinking in this too - new - light, before staring at the cracked screen of her phone, whch is shortly about to shut down, having only, wait - 8% battery - much like herself, so //not// like an active body at the current moment] (live: 12s) [& she feels like she is slowly coming to, in the way you feel after coming down from a bad trip or in that slighly giddy feeling after a night out when the drink is still sifting through you, and it is just before the real downer will come and get you or when you wake up from a long, and perhaps unnecessary nap, which has wrecked your sense of a self, a //me//, that can actually function in the world] (live: 18s) [& maybe the feeling is closer to a bittersweetness and there is something about this kind of awakening into a setting that reminds her of choral music, the feeling of walking into a church as a child, a sifting surfacing of the self] (live: 24s) [& [[press the light]]] (live: 25s) [& [[press the light]]] (live: 26s) [& [[press the light]]] {(set: $adrenaline to it +1) (set: $cortisol to it +4) (set: $dopamine to it -1)} (text-size: 0.8)+(live: 30s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//]

& it is true that she does not know how to drive, despite having reached an appropriate time in a life in which it seems that the vast majority of people have learned to drive and she offers various excuses for this - time, money, lack of need - but also it is because she is terrified (live: 8s) [& somehow it feels far less terrifying to be walking and waiting at a busy interchange] (live: 16s) [& everyone in the cars look so unhappy, each held in their own shell of melancholy, trying to move onwards with no luck] (live: 20s) [& cars blend like streams of rain, coloured cascade against a [[sharpening|ignoring]] landscape] {(set: $adrenaline to it +1) (set: $cortisol to it +4) (set: $dopamine to it -1)} (text-size: 0.8)+(live: 30s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//]

<audio src= "traffic.mp4" autoplay> (live: 3s) [& time is sparse and she feels sparser in it] (live: 6s) [& just as the thought can arrive, the unthought, can also take over] (live: 9s) [to think without thinking] (live: 12s) [& lying on the floor and not wanting to go there again] (live: 14s) [& moving slowly, slower, the lights growing dimmer, having lost the others, a silent dancefloor someone, a rave, & she can't remember how she got there] (live: 16s) [& kissing B, a deep softening understanding entering the body] (live: 18s) [& shouting deeply into the air, and having run away and not understanding why] (live: 22s) [& it's fine because that's not happening now; she just happens to be here, passing out into the open air, this unnaturally warm air] (live: 25s) [& the weathering on the face feels good & she has always liked this walk because it is out in this open field, except [[it's not a field and its not even entirely open]]]

{<audio src= "traffic.mp4" autoplay>} (live: 8s) [here, you can look back and forward like you would on any land] (live: 12s) [here, she can see she is entering Royston, a small village-like area set on the mortoway] (live: 15s) [here was where her co-worker said she once saw a deer, standing ears pinpricked, coming out of the bridge, as though just finding itself there one day, undisturbed] (live: 17s) [and the information highway continues and she accelerates with it] (live: 20s) [and it was about more than just information because [[information was emotion]] or even just [[motion]]]

(live: 3s) [she watches the world and feels as though she is watching herself] (live: 6s) [she watches the steps she knows she will take and time flickers] (live: 9s) [she feels as though she is being watched often] (live: 12s) [[[she presses the light]]] (live: 15s) [she feels as though she is not only being watched but also moved] {(set: $dopamine to it -2) (set: $adrenaline to it +3) (set: $cortisol to it +2)} (text-size: 0.8)+(live: 30s) [//Adrenaline: (print: $adrenaline)// //Cortisol: (print: $cortisol)// //Dopamine: (print: $dopamine)//]